


Death Takes A Holiday

by OlinUeyatl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Doctor Clarke, F/F, It's so easy to write Finn as an incredible douchebag, Lexa is soft and only wants to be loved, Sexual Content, meet joe black au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:19:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlinUeyatl/pseuds/OlinUeyatl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You couldn't be," Jake chuckles, eyeing her with skepticism,"'you're not Death, you're just a girl in a cardigan."</p><p>or</p><p>When a young, mysterious woman knocks on his door, successful clean energy tycoon Jake Griffin never expects her to be the bringer of dreadful news and for her to fall in love with his daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the "Meet Joe Black" AU you never know you wanted and probably will not want either way.  
> Based completely on the 1998 movie... but queerer.  
> I own nothing of the plot or the characters but I took some liberties with the dialogue and the development of the story.  
> This is an experiment to prove that when you take a cheesy romantic movie and you make it queer it's like a religious experience.  
> First fic, probably the only one. I just needed to get it out of my system. English is not my native language. Mistakes are all mine.

_Yes._

That voice again. A distant whisper. A dreadful echo.

_Yes._

Jake Griffin is not a believer, he's not a man of superstition. He embodies the old saying: “If I can see it and touch it, it exists”. He could explain things. He is excellent at being skeptical.

_Yes._

But he cannot explain that voice. How could he? How could he possibly explain it, late at night, tossing restlessly inside his bed, his sweaty body curling around the sheets? How could he explain that single word that has been keeping him awake so many nights before? Is that voice an answer?, or a sign?... a question? Why that voice is always accompanied by that slight pain in his chest, that feels like a void that extends to his arm and the rest of his body?

_Yes._

When he finally opens his eyes, he looks at the clock by the night stand marking “2 am” in big red numbers. Another sleepless night. He turns around, stretching his arm trying to reach for someone who isn't there. Trying to hold someone who hasn't been there for quite a while. On nights like this one, it's a little more hard to accept that she's gone. Nights like that one, remind him of how much he misses her. Her touch. How comforting her presence was, the single fact that she loved him and he loved her back. 

Jake sighs deeply. He tosses the blankets and the sheets aside and walks to the bathroom, where he splashes a handful of cold water in his face. He leans his hands on the borders of the sink and he remains there for a while, rubbing his left arm until he finally returns to bed knowing that sleep is gone but determined to try and find it anyway. 

_Yes..._

******

The morning begins with another commotion. Something about the flowers. For Clarke it isn't a surprise anymore. The same kind of commotion has been happening over the past two weeks. Plenty of party preparations for her sister Allison to stress about. If she only knew that their father would be truly happy with just a small chocolate cake and an escape to the ball park. But he'll never tell her that. He's too good to ruin the dreams of the big fancy pretentious party his daughter had been organizing since the big fancy pretentious party of last year. 

Clarke wishes she had her father's patience concerning her older sister. She wishes she had that same patience when she comes down the stairs and heads to the terrace in search for food, finding her father and her sister discussing about truffles and ignorant chefs. She never truly had it. Maybe that's something ingrained about being the little sister. Having a very short patience with most things regarding your older sibling. 

"Good morning," she greets them before reaching for some grapes and a blueberry pancake.

"Good morning, sweetie," her father says, kissing her cheek and pouring some coffee in a cup for her.

"How is that you're “sweetie” and I'm just “Allison”?" Allison asks with annoyance, kissing her other cheek.

"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" Clarke replies.

"You're so funny... Goodness no!, don't move the sculptures, please!"

"Finn called, he's on his way," Clarke informs her father. "Big day today?"

"Apparently so," Jake says absently, with one hand on his waist and the other holding his cup. Clarke watches him staring at the events developing in the garden while sipping his coffee: Allison scolding ever so gently the workers whom apparently are tearing apart her idea of the perfect dance floor; the other workers running from here to there carrying tools and chairs; the big structure where the dinner tables would be. He always looked so regal in her eyes, so elegant and proud, with his dark blue eyes that somehow seem to be brighter in sunny days like that one and his sandy hair with a bunch of white hairs on his temples ruffled by the light wind. "I hate parties."

"No, you don't," Clarke laughs, patting his belly. "You're only 55 once in a lifetime."

"I'm glad."

"Mr. Griffin, the papers for you to sign," Alice, his home secretary, appears carrying a bunch of documents.

"Yes, of course."

"Finn's here," Clarke says.

She recognizes the silhouette of the black town car parking at the end of the gravel path. Finn, his father's right hand, and Quince, Allison's fiancé, appear when the door opens. Finn with his wavy hair and his perfectly tailored suit and Quince with his big goofy smile. Clarke is sure that she's supposed to feel something when Finn approaches her, smiling widely, with his arms opened for her, ready to hold her for just one second. She's supposed to feel excited, isn't it? She's supposed to feel her stomach turning and flipping. After all, they have been dating for the last four months. They agreed to take things slow. She likes him. She knows she is supposed to feel something. Something more.

"Hey, gorgeous," he kisses her, just a peck on the lips and then he goes straight to her father.

"Hello, my darling sister in law, where's the party planner?" Quince asks her, giving her one of his trademark bear hugs.

"Yelling at the workers, can you believe it?" Clarke says pointing at Allison, who is running towards them the moment she notices her fiancé's arrival. "Go greet your girl, Quince."

For Clarke, there's always this ache inside her whenever she sees her sister and Quince together. It's been there for quite a while. When she sees the way her sister smiles after Quince squeezes her in his arms, the way they kiss so lightly but so fully at the same time. It's something very close to envy and it always leaves her feeling so bleak, so envious... so empty. She had never felt that kind of affection, their kind of affection. With Finn isn't like that. It had never been, perhaps it never will.

"Today's the day, Jake," Finn says, clapping his hands.

"I know," Jake keeps signing the papers without looking at him.

"Any doubts?"

"Well, I heard a voice in my head."

"Really?, and what did it say?"

"Yes."

"Yes to the merger?"

"Perhaps, who knows?"

"Come on, Jake, you know this merger will benefit th..."

"Let's talk about this at the office," Jake offers. "Let's go."

"Remember, we'll have dinner at daddy's place in the city," Allison reminds them, "there's lots of party details to discuss yet!"

"What is she talking about?" Jake asks Clarke, opening the door of one of the town cars for her. Finn and Quince board the other one.

"Party stuff."

"Jesus..."

Inside the car, Clarke and her father share a comforting silence. She's looking through the window while he double checks some documents. It's a beautiful day, sunny and warm. The road to the city is clear, the traffic nowhere to be seen... yet.

"Do you love Finn?" Jake asks all of the sudden, cutting the silence between them, looking at her through his glasses.

Clarke is taken aback by his question, but tries to play it cool, so she smiles like he's joking about it. He's not, actually. She frowns a little when he repeats the same question, using a very serious tone. She twists her hands in her lap, suddenly nervous.

"You mean like you loved mom?" she evades, thinking about a proper answer.

"Forget about me and mom, are you gonna marry him?"

"Dad, I..." he gives her a look. "Probably...?, I don't know, I mean... it's too early for that, come on."

Her tone is far from certain and surely her father got that. He removes his glasses and puts them inside his suit's pocket.

"Look, I'm crazy about the guy, he's aggressive and smart, he could carry the company towards new horizons and me along with it."

"So what's wrong with that?"

"That's for me, I'm talking about you. You know?, it's not what you say about Finn, it's what you don't say."

"Maybe you're not listening."

"Oh, yes I am," Jake replies, almost offended. "There's not an ounce of excitement when you talk about him. I want you to get swept away, I want you to levitate, I want you to... to sing and dance with rapture, be deliriously happy... well, at least be open to be."

"Okay," Clarke sighs. "Be deliriously happy?, well, I shall do my utmost."

Jake chuckles, "I know you're mocking me right now and I know it's a cornball thing. But... love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. I say, fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. How do you find them?, well, you forget your head and you listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart."

"Bravo!"

"Stop mocking your father."

Clarke sighs again and takes his hand, squeezing it gently, "I'm sorry, okay... give it to me again but the short version this time."

"Just... stay open, who knows?, lighting could strike, okay?"

"Okay."

Lightning could strike. Maybe. Her father was always that optimistic. Clarke not so much. She always considered herself a pragmatic, a realist. Some people, like her parents, Allison maybe, her best friend Raven, were lucky to have been struck by that lighting. She was not that lucky. Perhaps some people are blessed with it and some other people are not. Love... the kind of love her father speaks about, making beautiful sentences, is something she hasn't found and she is not sure she ever will. Instead, she found a guy like Finn, whom she likes and likes her back, with whom she has an agreement and that's it. No passion. No obsession. No rapture. Nothing. No singing or dancing. 

Clarke holds her father's hand the rest of the way. Maybe that way, something of his words could come true. She hates the fact that she wishes they could. There's a little traffic jam after they cross the city bridge but when they leave her in the corner of the hospital, it's still early for her shift. Her father kisses her on the cheek and Finn blows her a kiss from inside the other car while Quince waves an excited goodbye. She watches the cars disappear in the distance, after they turn around a crowded block and decides to grab another cup of coffee from the little but colorful diner located in the building next to the hospital. That day would be tiresome. She has a long shift.... besides the famous dinner with her family. A ridiculous amount of coffee is necessary if she wants to get through that just barely conscious.

When Clarke enters the diner she's greeted with the same scene that welcomes her everyday: the little counter with the coffee pots lined and the glass cabinets filled with sugar donuts; the tables, half of them occupied by fellow doctors and nurses, and the other half by lawyers from the firm across the street; the smell of coffee and pancakes with bacon, and a little bit of orange juice; the smile of one of the waitresses while she takes her order and... well, that isn't part of the everyday. A loud voice. The loud voice of a young woman talking by the public phone besides the entrance door. 

"Haven't heard that one before. Oh, okay, I'm sorry... you know what?, I'm not, I had to say it, you know it's the truth..."

Clarke sits down and takes out her notepad, pretending not to notice the conversation but the voice of the woman is too loud and she's clumsy. Suddenly she drops all the ketchup and mustard bottles beside the window and Clarke hears the characteristic noise of a foot hitting a table.

"Shoot, I'm sorry... no, I'm okay, I just kicked a table but that's not the point. Honey, listen to me: you have to go on..." the young woman says. Clarke tries to get a look of her but the only thing she sees is a long brunette mane of hair combed in a messy bun. "Well, I don't like her anymore, 'cus you're my sweetheart, and whoever messes with you, messes with me, that's it. Don't let her dictate your future, keep studying, keep reading your books and your cases, get the degree, one day we'll get our firm going just like we always dreamed of, how's that sound?" she laughs and surprisingly, Clarke chuckles along with her. She feels intrusive somehow. "Yeah, I know, I love you, okay?, don't forget that. See you."

Clarke thinks the young woman would sit in a table at the back of the establishment but she sits down right beside her in the counter, with a fresh breakfast and a glass of juice already served for her. She pretends, again, to be more interested in the empty page of her notepad that in the clumsiness of that girl, who just kicks her heavy bags below her seat and almost spills the juice over the counter. She waves her hand apologizing and then turns around to see Clarke quietly examining her. She's dressed in a wrinkled white button up shirt, an over sized gray cardigan and black jeans. High cheekbones, a sharp jawline, pouty lips and pointy nose. Her eyes are green, incredibly green, an impossible shade of green. They're beautiful and Clarke's own linger only a little too much. Yes... only a little.

"Morning," the young woman greets her, taking a large drink of her juice. Clarke fiddles stupidly with the sugar container. She just quirks a smile at her. "Sorry I was talking kinda loud there."

"Oh, that's okay... it was rather fascinating," Clarke says, pouring more sugar to her cup. Her coffee was already ruined but she pretends to drink it anyway.

"Really?, how's so?"

"Well, you and your... “honey”?"

The woman smiles, bright and widely. Clarke notices that she's not the only one pouring too much sugar in her coffee. 

"It's my little brother," she explains, grabbing a slice of breath and cutting her eggs with the fork before stuffing her mouth with both of them. She chews slowly and continues, "he just broke up with his girlfriend and was thinking about dropping law school."

"Sorry." Clarke offers.

"Nah, it's okay, I guess that's what happens with couples, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Nothing lasts."

"Oh... I agree."

"Really?, why?" the womans asks and Clarke glances at her surprised. "I'm interested."

"I was just trying to be agreeable."

The woman smiles again. Her eyes bore into Clarke's, who quickly returns the smile before avoiding her glance. She wishes she has anything else to look at.

"It's just that nothing lasts though," the woman goes on, "that's the problem with my brother's girl, you see, doesn't know what she wants so she's fooling around and he finds her with some other guy."

"So you're a one person girl?"

"Yes, I am," she answers proudly, even puffs her chest a little, still chewing... still smiling. "Looking for someone now, actually. Hey, who knows?, you might be the one." Clarke almost spits her coffee but she laughs incredulously. "Oh, don't laugh, I'm new in town, I just got a new apartment, new job... Anyway, so you're a doctor?"

"Observant."

"Well, it's just that everyone's a doctor around here. In my building everyone's in green pajamas, gray slippers, there's this constant beeper sound, you know..."

"Yeah, I know," Clarke agrees, remembering her own, silent and still inside the pocket of her blue trousers.

"So, what kind of doctor?"

"Internal medicine, I'm a resident."

"So, If I need a doctor, you could be it."

"Well, yeah, technically, I could... I'm working at the hospital so..." Clarke instantly scolds herself, shaking her head. That sounded so stupid. She blames the woman sitting besides her and her smile, her stupid, distracting smile.

"Well, it's my lucky day, just getting in the big city and I found myself not only doctor but a beautiful one as well." Clarke tilts her head, blushing. She knows she's blushing. She could feel the redness of her own embarrassment creeping from her ears to her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I made you uncomfortable."

"No, not at all."

Silence.

"Listen, can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

"I-I have some patients coming, I should probably..."

"Yeah, I have to take the subway, get off to work but I still would like another cup of coffee." Clarke checks her watch, hesitating. This woman is truly insistent. She's still deciding whether that's charming or annoying.

"Yeah... okay, why not?"

"Great!"

The woman suddenly leans forward, taking one of the coffee pots from the counter and asking one of the waitresses for permission to pour it herself. She's so close to Clarke. She smells nice. She pours a generous amount of coffee in Clarke's cup and then on hers. Clarke looks at her all the time and she misses her closeness when the woman sits down and extends her hand towards the sugar container. Their hands met halfway and Clarke feels something tug inside her, in her chest, something that only grows bigger when the woman smiles at her once again. Because everytime she smiles at Clarke, it seems that it's wider and wider, almost as if her face couldn't contain that kind of smile any longer... and Clarke is almost lost in its clarity.

And they talk and talk, for about an hour and maybe, just maybe, Clarke stays a little more than she should have. But the woman is so alluring, so cheerful in her way of speaking about the most mundane things. She's hypnotic. Clarke likes the way her mouth moves when she speaks, likes the way her green eyes shine when she tells her about her most bizarre experience in the city yet, likes the way she speaks with her hands, so vivaciously... likes the way she suddenly drops her arm in the counter, leaning against it, propping her elbow, leaning her face in her hand like she has no other concern in her life but to have a better look at Clarke when she tells her about a patient's strange type of PAH. 

"So, you're working on...?" Clarke wonders.

"A firm, not the one across the street, though, nothing big. We have cases of domestic violence, kids in legal troubles, that kind of stuff..."

"You like making a change?, being doing it all your life?"

"Yes I do," the woman agrees, proudly. "I know it doesn't pay so well but I like it, although eventually it'll depend on the woman I'll marry. Maybe she'll want a bigger house, raising a bunch of kids, a nice car... college fees are over the clouds, I don't know."

"Wow," Clarke sighs, picking up her notepad, her backpack, her coat after she realizing how late she is, "giving everything for the woman you marry?"

"Yeah, you know what?, I would, gladly," the woman firmly says, standing up, picking up her stuff as well, taking a few bucks out of her jeans' back pocket. She's a few inches taller than Clarke. "You make your choices. Imagine you and I, if we were married..."

"Woah!" Clarke exclaims, pretty amused.

"Come on, it's an example, if you and I were married I would want to help you get what you need to be comfortable and happy, that's all. I'm talking about taking care of each other the best we can. What's wrong taking care of someone you love?, they take care of you."

"Well, you'll have a hard time finding someone like that these days," Clarke's almost mocking her. She can't help it. She know it's a defense mechanism.

"Damn, you think so?"

"Yep."

"I don't know... lighting could strike," the woman says, hopeful and even more firmly than before.

Clarke's eyes widen at those words and her instant reaction is getting out, followed closely behind by a visibly confused and worried woman. Clarke looks over her shoulder before facing her. "I have to go."

"Yeah, me too..." the woman agrees. "Hey, did I say something wrong?"

"No!" Clarke rushes to answer, "no... no, I mean, no."

"Sure?"

"Sure, it's just that..." Clarke stutters, avoiding eye contact, "it's just that, well, it was... the things you said, they were so right that... it scared me, that's all."

"You know?" the woman asks, trying to find Clarke's eyes, "I was thinking over there and I don't want you to be my doctor, I don't want you... examining me."

"Why?"

"Because I kinda like you," the woman tells her after a long second of silence and there's so much sincerity behind her blatant flirting that Clarke's amazed by it.

Clarke smiles, tilting her head to her side. "Don't worry, I don't want to examine you."

"You don't?, and why is that?"

"Because I kinda like you too," they both laugh loudly at that. "And now I really have to go."

"Yeah."

"Alright."

"Fair enough, guess I'll see you around."

"Bye."

"Bye bye."

"Bye."

Clarke starts to walk backwards, just a couple of steps before turning around completely and hurrying her pace. She stops and turns again towards the woman only to see her walking away as well, with her heavy bags and her messy bun. Her graceful figure stands out in the middle of the sidewalk. Clarke sighs and keeps walking before turning her head again a little bit over her shoulder, wishing for the other woman to do so as well. Wishing for their eyes to meet one last time just before she has to turn around the corner of the street towards the hospital but she's only met with the woman's back, walking away from her for good. And it's almost sad. That little tragedy. Clarke had always found sad the way some people just enter into your life and then exit just like it was nothing. She thinks about the fact that she never asked her name. What's the point, really? She'll never see her again... perhaps it's for the better. What just happened was just a cute tale to tell Raven when she meets her for lunch. Her beeper sounds in her pocket. She walks away for good at last, fast and not turning her head again, not feeling very relieved when she enters the hospital, then the woman's locker room and finally, her first patient's room.

Little she knew of the commotion caused by a car crash and the woman with messy hair, in a messy bun and the bright green eyes caught in the middle of it.  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comments for the last chapter. Keep them coming :]  
> This is a pretty long chapter. I thought about maybe splitting it up but, well, who doesn't want a long chapter?

_I want you to be swept away..._

Jake hears that voice again. Inside the car, before boarding the elevator. He hears that voice instead of Finn's lectures and Quince's laugh. 

"What?" he asks astonished.

"I was just saying that..." Finn says pointing at Quince.

"No, not you."

"Jake, are you okay?" 

"Yes, sorry, let's go."

_I want you to levitate and sing and dance with rapture..._

They arrive quickly at the top floor, the elevator doors open and they're greeted by Jennifer, his assistant, who hands him the itinerary for the day. He greets her and walks distractingly towards his office, followed closely by her, Finn and Quince. How he longs to be alone. Alone with that voice.

"So, the board meets tomorrow... you'll recommend the deal, right?" Finn asks, clapping his hands. It's an habit of his and suddenly Jake finds it irritating.

"Consider it as closed as it could be," Jake answers absently while Jennifer closes the doors of his office behind him. She knows him so well. Years knowing when he doesn't want to be disturbed anymore. Years knowing when Finn is just too much. The young man just stays there, looking triumphant, smiling widely at Quince.

"Fabulous... and remember we have a meeting with Wallace later."

"Thank you, Finn."

Once he's inside, Jake throws the pages in his desk without even reading them and sits in the arm of one of the chairs. He unbuttons the first two buttons of hist shirt and looses his tie a little, breathing deeply. He's exhausted and worried. He's never this exhausted at this hour of the day. 

Suddenly, he feels an unbearable tug of pain in his arm, extending to his chest. He lets out a strangled sob.

_Yes._

Another tug, this one more painful and intense. He breathes heavily. He doesn't think he could handle that kind of pain. It feels like a thousand punches being directed to his breast plate.

_Yes._

"Yes what?" Jakes asks, tired, aching.

_Yes, is the answer to your question._

"What question?, I didn't ask any question," he replies, desperately.

_I believe you did._

"Who are you?" one, two, three breaths, Jake tries to keep them steady but it's too much. "Goddammit, what's going on!"

_I think you know._

"I don't!"

_Try..._

"What is this?" Jake stumbles towards one of the big windows of his office before falling on his knees. He feels like air is something he tries so desperately to reach but its so out of his hands, slipping away slowly and cruelly. Air, something so natural, suddenly becomes a privilege he no longer has. "Tell me now who you are!"

 _Are you giving_ me _orders?_

"No, I'm sorry."

 _No, you are not. You're trying to..._ handle _the situation but this is the only one situation you know you can't control._

One more tug. One more strangled sob. Jake just wishes it would stop, he feels like he's about to...

_That's enough... for now._

And just like that, the pain, the tugs, the heavy breathing, the feeling of not knowing what air is, stops.

"Talk to me, please," Jake begs and he has never begged to anyone in his entire life.

_There will be time for that._

"What do you mean?"

_I think you understand me, Jake._

With that, the voice is gone. Jake feels so alone then. In the middle of his office, on his knees, talking to a voice inside his head. A voice he can't quite shake off his mind for the rest of the day. During the meeting with Wallace, during lunch, during the ride home in the evening alongside Finn and Quince, and in that moment, with Allison excitedly talking about the music for the party... At least he thinks that's what she's talking about.

"I know you love music and I want music that pleases you, daddy, but music that pleases you and doesn't make everybody else sleepy, I mean it's a party!"

They're sitting in the living room, waiting for dinner to be served at any moment. He thought it would be a good idea to have a scotch before dinner but actually his head is killing him and Allison, god she loves that girl, but the sound of her voice is not helping at all.

"So I narrowed our options and finally decided for a band, Glenn Miller style, 24 musicians, very eclectic, plus, a Latin band during breaks... You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"

"What, darling?, sorry..."

"Daddy!"

_Yes._

"Mr. Griffin?" he turns his head quickly. It's only Lillian, the housekeeper. "Dinner is served."

"You know what?" Allison says cheerfully, always so cheerfully, squeezing his hand. "I'll take care of it, leave everything to me."

_Did you miss me, Jake?_

Jake stands up slowly, rubbing his eye with the tip of his finger and heads to the dining room, with its bright lights and the food looking so appealing over the table. 

_Why you look so appalled, so irritated?, it's a simple, normal question: did you miss me? I know I missed you and this is what I get back? Not an ounce of excitement..._

He sits, the others sit. Clarke is missing. He stares at the food on his plate blankly.

"Did you speak to the president of the board?" Allison asks Finn.

"Oh, yeah, he's coming," Finn answers unfolding his napkin.

"And his wife?"

"Unfortunately."

"You're so mean!"

_I'm waiting outside the door, Jake... Will someone let me in?_

"Lillian?" Jake calls, "is someone at the front door?"

"I didn't hear the ring, sir."

"Please, go and check."

"And the mayor?" Allison goes on. She's so proud of her guest list, Jake knows that she could almost have a nervous breakdown if someone dares to cancel.

"He's incredibly excited, like, drowning in excitement," Quince says.

"Hopefully, that way we won't have to hear him at all," Finn jokes.

"Please, don't be negative," Allison scolds him, "We have a guest list that will make the White House proud: 10 senators, I don't know how many congressmen..."

"You were right, sir," Lillian approaches Jake quietly, "there was a young lady outside the door, she's waiting for you in the foyer."

"Please, lead her to the library," Jake tells her, trying to hide his surprise and his sudden fear. "Tell her I'll be with her in a moment."

"Oh!, and the souvenirs, key chains for the men and powder cases for the women, all engraved with your initials," Allison goes on. "Do you think it's a good idea, daddy?"

"I- I don't know," Jake sighs, standing up. "Will you excuse me?"

He's incredibly afraid, he must accept that. Something tells him to stay where he is, to not lead the way towards the library, a place where he always finds comfort in, where he can escape the stress of the day. But his curiosity gets the best of him. He's never been a coward. He won't start now. He'll face whatever, whoever this is once and for all. 

The library is empty but for its silent and wise habitants. That smell is always the same, the smell of old pages and dust accumulating between pages, not out of abandonment but because dust seems to always want something more of books.

"Hello?" Jake wonders, "is anyone here?, I said is anyone here?"

_Lower you voice._

"Where are you?"

_I'm here._

"What is this?, a joke?... because in college we delivered an empty casket to the president of our class council and he..."

 _Quiet._ Jake steps back. The voice had never sounded so cold. _Where are you going, Jake?..._

"I... I don't..."

 _The great Jake Griffin has lost his words? The man whose lips talk about rapture and excitement, emotion and passion, obsessions, he who speaks so fiercely about being_ deliriously _happy, he who talks about the nonsense of living your life without, what is it?, love?... All those sparks and energy!_

"What the hell is this?" He sees a shadow moving behind one of the bookshelves in the back of the big room. A silhouette barely illuminated by the dim moonlight slipping through the window behind. The silhouette of a woman, that much he can see. "Who are you?"

_Just work out millenniums, multiplied by ages and infinite ends... I've been around that long but it's only recently that your affairs began to peak my interest. Call it boredom, curiosity... Me, the most natural and lasting being in existence, has come to see you._

"For what?"

_I want to have a look around before I take you._

"Take me where?"

_It requires competence and experience, you're the one who gathers all those qualities._

"And for what?"

_Show me around, be my guide, and in return you'll get..._

"What?"

_Time: minutes, days, weeks... what matters is that I stay interested._

Jake feels dizzy. It's all to much. Every word the young woman from behind the bookshelf speaks sounds like a tasteless, bad joke. Far worst than the joke of the casket when he was young and stupid in his college years and that one was really low. He still remembers the pale face of his class' council president. It was such a stupid joke. But this, and even though Jake wants to think it's the same kind of stupid, vulgar joke, somehow doesn't feel like it.

_Yes._

"Yes what?"

_Yes is the answer to your question._

"What question?"

_Oh Jake, the question!, the very question wandering around in your mind in this very moment. The question you ask yourself regularly: during that tie break in the tennis court, running towards the plane a couple of weeks ago, last night comfortable in your bed and in your office this morning. The question in the back of your throat that chocks you and stops the blood in your veins. The question ringing in your ears over and over. I wish you could just listen to yourself..._

"The question..." Jake whispers.

_Yes Jake, the question!_

"Am I going to die?" Those words feel foreign in his mouth and yet so true. And so he knows this is for certain. He's going to die. And he doesn't feel anything in that moment of realization. Long gone is the fear he felt before entering the library. He doesn't feel sadness, agony... or relief. He just doesn't feel anything.

The silhouette moves a little and suddenly she appears from behind the bookshelf. A young woman, she could be Clarke's age and yet she looks so distant, ethereal. She couldn't be...

"Yes," her voice is cold and distant, serious and detached.

"Am I dreaming this?, are you a dream?"

"I am not."

"You've come to take me?, who the hell are you?" She walks closer and closer, and stares at him with an uncomfortable intensity, with those big, bright green eyes."You are?..."

"Yes?, who am I?" she asks, with false expectation.

"You are... Death?, you are Death?"

"That's correct."

"You couldn't be," Jake chuckles, eying her with skepticism, "you're not Death, you're just a girl in a cardigan."

"The... cardigan, you say, came with the body I took," she takes a few steps back and puts her hands in her pockets. It almost looks like she's posing. "Let me ask for your opinion: will I blend in?''

"I... I..." Jake babbles a little. "So you want me to be your guide?"

"Exactly."

"Will you be staying long?"

"That's up to you."

"And then?" Jake asks. The girl just stares at him blankly, like she has been doing the entire time, with those eyes that somehow are expressive and hollow at the same time. The answer brewing in Jake's lips is quick: "It's over... Over."

"Mr. Griffin?, will the young lady be staying for dinner?" Lillian appears at the door. Jake turns abruptly towards her. He's being doing that the entire evening.

"Yes, I will," the girl answers unceremoniously. "Thank you."

"This is crazy, you are not having dinner with us!" Jake exclaims once Lillian is gone.

"I am eating dinner with you and your family, it's not open for discussion, nothing is, do you understand?" the girls retorts, almost losing her patience. 

"Yeah..."

"Good, now, lead the way, Jake."

They walk out of the library, arm in arm before Jake stops. "Excuse me, I was just wondering... when I introduce you, if I say who you are I don't think anyone will be staying for dinner."

"Then don't," the girl smiles almost like she knows he's trying to joke about this entire situation.

When they enter the dining room, Allison is still talking about the party gifts and souvenirs, Quince is still happily listening to her and Finn is still eating, complaining about something every now and then. Clarke's nowhere to be seen and Jake is almost glad. When Allison spots the girl besides him, her eyes shine quickly with excitement and maybe that's one of the things Jake loves the most about his older daughter: her gentleness with everyone and the interest that peaks within her whenever someone new is introduced to her.

"Hello there," she says to the girl besides him.

"Hello," the girl answers, bowing just a little.

"Sorry to... to have stepped away for so long," Jake apologizes to everyone. "This is a... a friend's of mine daughter I asked to drop by... We were talking and... well, she'll be joining us for dinner."

"Great," Quince says lively.

"How nice to meet you," Allison salutes and then she frowns, "but wouldn't it be nicer if my father introduces you?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," Jakes realizes. "This is my daughter Allison and her fiancé Quince and Finn, my right hand... works with me."

"Daddy, does your friend's daughter have a name?" Allison presses.

"A name?" Jake asks confused.

"Something she goes by?" Finn tries to be helpful.

"Oh, yeah... of course. This is, uh..."

"Daddy, come on, a name."

"I'm sorry, it just got..." they all look at him expectantly. "I'm sorry this is... Le-Lexa."

"Lexa, just plain Lexa?" Finn asks confused.

"What a lovely name," Allison exclaims, "Lexa as in Alexandria?, I love it."

"Me too, how are you?" Quince greets. Lexa just smiles more.

"Is there anything more to it?" Finn inquires.

"What do you mean?" Jake asks.

"Like a last name or something."

"Oh, yeah... Woods."

"At last!, nice to meet you, Lexa Woods," Allison keeps greeting her.

"Shall we sit down?" Jake leads Lexa to the other head of the table. 

They all look at Lexa like she's a kitten playing with a big ball of yarn. She looks so fascinated by everything around her: the carpet, the candles, the chair, Lillian and Richard who suddenly appear behind the door that leads to the kitchen and start putting the plate of food, the silverware, the napkin and the drinking glasses in front of her. She looks so small, cute even, with her big eyes full of wonder and Jake cannot possibly fathom the idea that this girl who grabs her plate and smells her food like she had never done that before holds such a terrible power over people.

Over every living thing, actually.

"Have we met before?" Finn asks Lexa and if Jake doesn't know him any better, he would say that he's being incredibly rude and weary.

"Lexa is from out of town," Jake intervenes. 

"How long are you staying here, Lexa?" Quince asks, handing her the little basket full of tiny bread buns.

"As long as it takes," Lexa answers doing the same with the bread buns as she did with her plate. She stares at it, takes it between her hands and smells it.

"Have your father and Jake being friends for a long time?" Finn keeps pressing.

"No," Jake hurries to say.

"That's interesting, I've never met a friend of yours by the name of Woods, daddy," Allison wonders.

"He died," Jake keeps lying and lying, and he doesn't know how much longer he would be able to keep going on with this façade. "He died not so long ago and Lexa... she will be staying here until she finds a new home, she will... she will make some internships in the company as well."

"Oh, I see," Finn eyes her suspiciously while Lexa offers him the bread buns. "No, thank you, I have one already. So, you've done business with Jake before?" Lexa seems little bothered to pay attention to Finn, she's more interested in the basket of bread buns, holding it in her hands before Quince takes it away from her with a warm smile. "I asked if you have done business with Jake before?"

"We have an arrangement now," she finally answers without looking at him.

"Which side of the industry you said you were on?"

"I didn't say."

"Lexa here sounds like a ringer, Jake," Finn suggests cautiously. Jake glares at him, begging him not to start. He's so tired by now and not even hungry anymore. "Sorry for bringing business at the table. Forgive me for being so rude."

"Certainly," Lexa concedes taking the glass of white wine and twirling it over and over, amazed. She takes a large drink and coughs inside the glass. She makes a scrunchy face at the bitter and dry taste of the wine.

"Hi, everybody," Clarke greets, walking towards them, visibly exhausted. Her long blond hair is tied in a messy pony tail and she's still wearing her slippers. "Sorry I'm late, I had dinner with the chief of my department and..."

"You ate already?" Allison asks sounding almost offended.

"Well, I'm here aren't I?" Clarke scoffs, irritated, leaning by her father, kissing him on the cheek. "I wouldn't miss this lose ends meeting for the world. What are we discussing right now?, party favors?, flower arrangements?... Hi, dad." 

"Hey, gorgeous," Finn stands up and greets her with a small kiss on the lips. 

"What are you doing here?" Clarke asks Lexa astonished, with her mouth slightly dropped.

Jake snaps his head at that. "You know each other?"

"Uhm, yeah, we met briefly," Clarke tells them, nodding. "This morning, at the diner besides the hospital, she was... she was looking for a doctor."

"Well, I guess, she's found one, a terrific one," Quince comments.

"Lexa, you do get around," Finn says helping Clarke with her chair.

"That's your name?" Clarke wonders.

"And isn't it a lovely one?, so strong!" Allison asks lifting her fists while Quince laughs at her.

"So, Lexa, you'll be staying here?" Finn asks like he just wants to make sure he heard well.

"Here?, as in this house?" Clarke intervenes.

"Yes, in this house," Lexa resolves looking straight at Jake's direction, who holds her gaze decidedly.

"What about your new apartment?, your new job?" Clarke urges. She's curious, so very curious. But Lexa doesn't say anything, she looks at her as if Clarke is talking to her in another language. "Incidentally, Lexa what?"

"Woods."

"This is fun," Quince says. Apparently he found himself a new buddy.

"Yes, Quince," Lexa smiles like a dork, "it is."

"So, what are you doing here, Lexa?" Now it's Clarke who's being inquiring and Jake doesn't like it one bit. "Cat got your tongue?, you were not so silent this morning."

"This morning, yes..." Lexa stares at her and Clarke feels something is entirely different about that pair of eyes, they don't look at all like the ones she met at the diner this morning. "Well, this morning I wasn't quite myself."

"Well, it's a shame whoever you were couldn't be here tonight," Clarke points out, unsatisfied with this turn of events.

"Cut it out, Clarke. We've got to talk." Jake points at Lexa. "Busy day tomorrow everybody. Lexa, come with me please."

When they leave everyone behind in the dining room, Jake only takes a couple of steps before he tries to catch Lexa's attention. She, once again, is more interested in her surroundings: the paintings on the wall, his wife's art collection; the furniture, the tiny dots of the city lights visible through the windows, painting the night better than the stars, out shined and almost abandoned over there, in the big dark sky.

"That stuff with you and Clarke shook me," Jake finally tells her, scratching his chin. He decides that if this is the game they'll be playing at least he'll be entirely honest.

"Shook you?, where?" Lexa replies, confused.

"Shook me out."

"Shook you out?"

"Stop repeating what I'm saying. I mean, how is it that you met my daughter?"

"I didn't, the young girl I took met her, the one who was at the diner this morning."

"What happened to her?"

"I needed a body, Jake," Lexa says simply.

That was quite the admission.

******

Jake leads Lexa to one of the guest bedrooms at the far side of the house and shows her the bathroom door, the wardrobe, the TV screen above a nightstand in front of the bed, that awful painting he tells her his wife bought and decided to put as decoration and, well, all the other bedroom's decoration. He looks at her bewildered when she sits down at the edge of the bed and starts jumping a little in the mattress. For her, it's just a whole new sensation. Everything is. The tastes of the food and the drinks. The smells. The voices of Jake's family. The softness of the bed. He leaves her alone after telling her that if she needs anything, she doesn't have to hesitate to ask for it. But she feels fine. She feels so incredibly fine. Is that kind of feeling what they call, 'being content'? 

She's resolved to explore more so she exits the bedroom and wanders around the house for a while, going particularly nowhere. Despite it being a very big house, she manages to find herself once again in the familiar dining room. She eyes the door at the back where those gentle people came out with her food. She decides to go there and thank them for everything. After walking a long and lonely hallway, she is suddenly guided by the smell of more food. Lexa doesn't think she could get tired of that kind of smell. When she enters the kitchen, she sees a group of people talking animatedly after a long day's work, gathered around a large kitchen island.

"Do you need something, miss?" the man named Richard asks her. He was holding a jar of something in his hand.

"Hello, I'm Lexa Woods, it's nice meeting you all," she greets everybody, hands behind her back, all smiles. "Thank you for your service a while ago."

"Yes, of course, Miss Woods, a pleasure."

"What is that?" Lexa points at the jar in Richard's hand with her eyes.

"Oh, you mean this, miss?, it's Scudder's peanut butter."

"You like it?"

"Well, in my humble opinion it's right up with Jiff and Skippy. Do you want some, miss?"

"Yes, please."

The good man Richard reaches for a recently washed dessert spoon and dips it inside the jar, offering Lexa a generous amount of peanut butter. Everyone else is staring at her, amused, smiling at the stranger in the over sized gray cardigan who is intrigued by something as common as peanut butter. She takes the spoon, smells it and puts it inside her mouth, almost chocking when she swallows the peanut butter all at once. She coughs a couple of times.

"It's good," she decides, handling Richard the spoon.

"Do you want some more?"

Lexa nods effusively and Richard gives her another spoon with a bigger amount of peanut butter just for her. This time she tastes it slowly, enjoying the flavor, it's dry but sweet and she really, really likes it. Richard chuckles.

"You're a peanut butter girl now, miss."

"Yes!, I believe I am, I really enjoyed this... peanut butter and it was great meeting you all, now I'll be moving on. Thank you," she nods, turning around on her heels. 

There was still so much to see. Perhaps the library would be a good option, she was intrigued since the beginning by the room Jake decided to meet her and know his fate. Perhaps it was an important, special room for him. She will find out. Lexa walks away from the kitchen, happily licking the tiny spoon, slowly because she wants the taste of the peanut butter to linger for a while.

******

Clarke is confused. She's frustrated. She's... upset? But why would she be upset? The moment she walked away, she knew that it meant nothing but just a little coincidence... But she somehow got stupidly excited about a stranger whom she met in a fucking diner. For the entire day, she couldn't stop thinking about her... Lexa is her name. She thought about her during her first round checking up patients. She thought about her during lunch time. She told Raven about her and her best friend was so incredibly glad for her.

"That's like some kind of mystical sign of the universe, Clarke," she told her, squealing, "the planets aligning and shit. It's a sign for you to drop that douchebag Finn and go after the hot stranger of the diner."

And Clarke allowed her mind to wander, to make ideas and hopes all of the sudden. She allowed her fantasies to get the best of her. She thought for the entire day how she could go to the diner everyday, at the same hour, like a hopeless fool, in the hopes to catch a single glance of the stranger with the big, bright, green eyes. She would be more eloquent, she would talk more, she would show... Lexa, that she was interested in the same way she obviously was in her. And eventually, she would find out that all of this was, perhaps, what her father was talking about all along. She would drop Finn, like Raven said and she would feel that kind of love she has never known.

But now... now she scolds herself for being so stupid. The woman she found in the dining room was not the same she met at the diner that very same morning. Clarke feels cheated. That woman is distant and distracted, silent and cold, even. There is no trace of her cheerful being, no sign of her eagerness and her joy, that dangerously contagious hope. Clarke was met with a real stranger. She never would've thought she knew her father. She realized she never knew anything true about her. How could she?, they met briefly at a diner, for God's sake!

"How could you be so stupid, Clarke?" she mutters to herself, trying to keep reading the book in her lap to no avail.

She's sitting on one of her favorite couches in the library. After dinner, everyone else went to sleep. She said goodbye to an eager Finn after they made out a little in the foyer. She still feels nothing. Because she was not sleepy anymore thanks to the awkward encounter with Lexa, she decided to kill some time in the library, she left a nice book unfinished the other day when she had to rush to the hospital because of an emergency. So there she is but she can't seem to get any single word stuck in her mind. She reads one sentence and she catches nothing. No word sticks. She hates that feeling. She's about to give up, leave the book and go to bed when she hears someone entering the room.

"What are you doing here?" she finds herself asking that same question for the second time that night.

"I thought I was lost," Lexa answers. She's licking something out of a dessert spoon. 

"Can't seem to escape you today," Clarke says bitterly.

"I'm sorry."

"You must have something very... big going on with my father."

"Big?"

"Yeah, you appear all of the sudden, out of the blue, stay in his house, have dinner with his family. You're in the center of a big fat business and I thought... you told me you were just a plain, regular Lexa."

"I am Lexa."

"Not the one I met this morning," Clarke accuses. She feels like she's about to let all the frustrations that suddenly brewed inside of her in the dining room out and somehow she knows she'll eventually regret it but in that moment, she truly doesn't care. "I'll admit, I felt flattered... I haven't been hit on like that in a very long time but the second you found out I was my father's daughter you... well, you acted like a complete stranger."

"That was not my intention," Lexa whispers not bothering to remove the spoon from her mouth.

"What are you intentions then?" Clarke snaps. "I mean, just make little dramas in diners, turn a woman over heels for you?, I'll admit, I... I liked it but 10 hours later I feel like a fool." Clarke runs a hand over her hair, exasperated. She glares at Lexa, she's just nodding, with that stupid little spoon still inside her mouth. Clarke doesn't know if she's truly listening to her or she's just really that absent-minded. "I just don't get it, I don't: you and my father, here in this house, it's upsetting... What happened to that sweet girl in the diner?, who are you anyway?, and... _what_ are you eating??

"Peanut butter... but i's gone now,?" Lexa answers candidly. She turns to both of her sides, maybe looking for a place to put the spoon. After she decides against the idea of putting it above the desk she decides to put it inside one of the pockets of her jeans before Clarke snaps it away from her.

"I would think you never had peanut butter before," Clarke states incredulously.

"I hadn't."

"Quite a childhood you had!"

"Do you love Finn?"

"Excuse me?" Clarke blurts offended. She cannot believe this woman. And she thought she was charming, now she seems determined to just piss her off. And yet... that straight forwardness reminds her a little of her father's and the conversation they had in the car that morning.

"When you put your mouth in his, it seemed like you do it out of habit, like it's something frequent."

"Did you casually spy on us?"

"No, I didn't."

"Well, Finn's not of your business and neither what I do with my mouth or where I put it, thank you very much."

"I'm sorry. Do you live here?"

"No, Lexa, I just come here for the books and now I'm going home."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that... I would like if we could be friends."

"I have many friends." That's a lie. Raven's her only friend.

"I don't have any," Lexa says bluntly. There's no sadness or regret in her voice. It just sounds like it's a simple fact about her life.

'I can see why," Clarke says cruelly, shooting her eyebrows up. But actually, she feels a little sad for Lexa.

"I didn't mean to offend you at dinner, Clarke," Lexa apologizes, getting closer to her, slowly closer but careful not to invade her personal space. She's just... close. Her green eyes are so distracting... so strangely honest. "Sometimes, I guess I just don't know how to behave with other people. I'm too busy doing... what it is I do that I don't seem to have developed..."

"Yes?"

'Well, I have certain function to perform that seems to take out most of my time but sometimes I think, I know that I haven't let time for anything else. Social skills, I guess."

If that's not cryptic.

"Sadly, I know what you mean," Clarke agrees. She truly does. "Well... good night, Lexa."

"Yes, good night to you, Clarke."

Clarke looks over her shoulder before exiting the library completely. Lexa is staring at her, standing in the center of the room, with an expression on her face Clarke can't quite read.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> I made a little drawing as you can see (Jake looks so unintentionally old, tho)

"Good morning, Margaret," Jake salutes one of the staff ladies when he walks out of his bedroom and heads towards Lexa's, adjusting the sleeve of his shirt. "Everything's okay?"  
  
"Good morning, Mr. Griffin, everything's fine, thank you."  
  
"Capital."  
  
He walks inside Lexa's bedroom after knocking the door a couple of times. Somehow he wishes that all of this could still be a dream. But it's not. He finds her standing in front of the mirror, struggling with the tie and the collar of her white dress shirt. She's just twisting it or tying it wrongly. Jake greets her, and quietly examines her failed attempts to work out the accessory. Last night he arranged for Lillian and Richard to fetch some clothes for her, work clothes and perhaps some casual ones... even a dress if this arrangement extends until his birthday party.  
  
"Morning," Lexa greets him looking at his tie with curious eyes, trying to match it to no avail. "What's in the itinerary for today?, what shall we do?"  
  
" _We?_ "  
  
_"_ Yes _."_  
  
_"_ Well _,_ I have to go to work and..."  
  
"Splendid, I'll join you."  
  
Jake chuckles. "Would you like to ride or walk?"  
  
"Walk, I want to see the world."  
  
"This is crazy," Jake states, shaking his head, chuckling again. "I don't know how I'll get through this, what do I tell my family?"  
  
"Yesterday's lies worked out perfectly, Jake, I felt as I was being treated as..." Lexa crooks a smile, "a person. 'Lexa this, Lexa that', a nice smile here and there, Quince passed me the bread buns. No passion or rapture or anything of those mighty things you constantly preach your daughter about. But I am certain, if you say who I really am, our endeavor would end... quite abruptly." That much Jake can agree with at least. "I did enjoy your family."  
  
"What about my family?" Jake asks with warning and menace in his voice. "This arrangement is between you and me, this _endeavor_ involves only me, right?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean that you have to promise me this undertaking of yours involves me and only me, and, well, you leave my family out of it,"  Jake offers, shoving Lexa's hands aside and grabbing the tie, making a proper knot.  
  
"And then what?"  
  
"I won't tell them who you are?"  
  
"That's fine for me."

"Do we have a deal, then?"  
  
"A deal?"  
  
"Yeah," Jake feels the tiny drops of his patience dropping fast. He doesn't know if Lexa is just trying to bother him out of nothing. "You give your word, I give mine, we do as we say... a deal is like a truth exchanged between two people."  
  
"Jake... you have a deal." With that, Jake almost chokes Lexa when he tightens the tie just a little too much. She makes a faked painful expression and then looks at herself in the mirror and exclaims excitedly: "This is great!, you'll have to teach me that one."  
  
They have a little breakfast and it's just like a replay of last night's awkwardness. Although it's just the two of them at the table. Everyone else is out. Allison's probably busy with more party stuff and Clarke's surely already at the hospital.  
  
Later, they head out. Jake dismisses the driver and together, he and Lexa, walk all the way down Fifth Avenue to the company's building. The streets are busy and crowded. It's a nice day to have a walk though, it's sunny but not very warm, the sky is clear and bright blue. People around them hold cups of coffee and cellphones, wearing sunglasses, suits and skirts, heading off to work. Lexa looks all around her, amazed and fascinated by the man that rudely bumps her shoulder in a hurry and doesn't apologize or by the cyclist they encounter around the corner; by the woman taking her children to school or by the big advertisements all around them.  
  
"I was just thinking," Jake began, "with you here, in what it seems to be a holiday, how does it work for... for everyone else elsewhere?"  
  
'Well," Lexa answers, walking with her hands behind her back, "for example, when you were shaving this morning, you weren't just shaving. You were making plans, having different ideas about different things and making decisions whilst, right?"  
  
"I guess so."  
  
"So you understand the concept of one part of you doing one thing and other part of you doing another?"  
  
"Of course I do."  
  
"Congratulations, Jake, now multiply that by infinity and the depths of forever and still you can barely have a glimpse of what I'm talking about."  
  
"Lexa?"  
  
"Yes, Jake?"  
  
"How about..." he hesitates, this is so stupid to even think about asking, "how about you give the guy a break?"  
  
"Like, make and exception?, for you?"  
  
"Well, there's one to every rule."  
  
"Not to this one."  
  
Jake doesn't let this affect him, he doesn't let it show.  
  
"I can't do that, Jake," Lexa explains trying to be... comforting? "Even if you show me around and be my guide with all the excellency I know you're capable of, even if I like this world too much... I can't do anything about that. It's a cycle. It's a must. For you... for that kid in his skateboard, for that couple kissing over there, for the man who bumped my shoulder a while ago and the woman with her children, for the dog running freely in that park and the leaves tossing freely at the tops of the trees. I'm not taking you just because I want to but rather because your time has come."  
  
Jake sighs. He doesn't know why he feels so disappointed. Lexa's right. His time's up and he'll better make the best of it.  
  
When they arrive at the office, he tells Jennifer to call his family and ask all of them to have dinner again tonight. They head towards the meeting room, where the board is already waiting for him. Today is a big and important day for the future of his company and with all of this suddenly happening he's starting to have second thoughts about this merger altogether.  
  
"Perhaps you would like to wait in my office. Jennifer can take you and..." Jake tells Lexa at the threshold of the door.  
  
"Hello, Jennifer, nice to meet you," Lexa greets his secretary and then turns to him. "That won't be necessary, though."

"What I'm trying to say is that this is a board meeting and you're not a member of..."  
  
"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work."  
  
Jake stares deeply at her. Well, if this has to be like this, so be it.  
  
"Good morning!" he salutes everyone at the large table once he enters the meeting room followed closely by Lexa. The chattering stops and the room is silent. They salute him as well, some of them are already seated, others standing up, checking memos or cellphones. "Thank you... this is Lexa Woods, she's a... a person, an associate of mine, she'll be working here for a while and she'll be joining us this morning."  
  
"Hi, Quince," Lexa waves her hand at his son-to-be son in law and he waves back.  
  
"I know this is unusual and I apologize but..." Jake catches a glance of Finn, standing next to Quince, with his arms crossed and a disbelieving expression painted across his features. "Well, Finn, carry on, please."  
  
"It's nice to see you, Lexa," Finn says with sarcasm. "I didn't expect to see you but certainty you can't get enough of a good thing, don't you?"  
  
"Lexa, would you like to sit down over there?" Jake tells Lexa pointing at a black leather cushioned chair in the corner of the room. Lexa, though, is pretty entertained with the plate of cookies above the table. Everyone else is looking at her with puzzled expressions when she takes two cookies and shoves them inside her mouth, heading towards the chair. "Okay, what do we have?"  
  
"The board of Griffin Enterprises is here by called to order," Finn announces, "our sole order of the..." he's suddenly distracted, like everyone else, with Lexa, who is swinging in her chair until she slides besides Jake, who looks at her appalled but she just keeps swinging and chewing her cookies. Finn clears his throat and goes on: "Our sole order for today is the acceptance of Dante Wallace's generous offer and I think Jake will..."  
  
"Do you have more of these delicious cookies?" Lexa ask all of the sudden. Finn glares at her offended and perplexed. "The jelly ones?, and a cup of tea with milk, I think. I guess I'll try it English style. Yes, cup of tea with milk, please."  
  
"Is there anything else, Miss Woods?" Finn asks, clearly losing his patience. One part of Jake understands him but the other one just finds all of this quite amusing. "How about some water?"  
  
"Well, yes, thank you, that would be great."  
  
"Hot or cold?"  
  
"Cold."  
  
"In a glass?"  
  
"That would be great."  
  
Finn points at his assistant and continues: "After this, and as I was saying, yesterday Jake had a great and conclusive meeting with Mr. Wallace and all it remains is for us to put a vote into it. Jake, if you please."  
  
"Uhm, thank you," Jake begins, scratching his temple. "I did enjoy, or rather, I was interested in meeting Dante Wallace yesterday and hear the terms of his proposal and... it was impressive, I suppose but..." he taps his hands in the table a couple of times before standing up, leaning in the back of the chair. Finn looks at him expectantly "… it got me into thinking: I first started this because it was what I wanted to do. I knew, from a very young age, that I was not going to write the next American novel, so goodbye to my F. Scott Fitzgerald dreams, or that I wasn't going to find the cure for cancer but what I did know was the difference between offering something for a dollar and selling it for two. I realized that I wanted to give the energy to the world and I wanted to give it, clean and the closest to freedom as it was given to us. Sure, I had a profit out of it, we can't live without it but that's a... What I'm trying to say is that Dante Wallace is all profit. If we give him license to absorb Griffin Enterprises in its entirety, and he has his eyes in others after us, in order to reach that energy, you'll have to go through Dante Wallace and not only you'll have to pay him to do this, far more important: you'll have to agree with him. Giving people the kind of energy they need to survive their daily necessities is a responsibility and it is not exploitable. Griffin Enterprises has earned this privilege, Dante Wallace wants to snatch it with his money. That's why I, as you chairman, urge to agree that this company is _not_ for sale."  
  
"Sounds like you're not leaving much room for discussion," Finn states affected, after a long, uncomfortable silence.  
  
"I know, I'm sorry it looks like I'm reversing my feeling about this merger."  
  
"That's your privilege, Jake but the truth is that joining Dante Wallace is like death and taxes."  
  
"Death and taxes?" Lexa asks.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Death and taxes, you said?"  
  
" _Yes_."  
  
"What a strange thing to say"  
  
"It's just a saying, Miss Woods," Finn snarls furiously.  
  
"By who?"  
  
"It doesn't matter!"  
  
"Then why it's being brought up?"  
  
"You're not familiar with the words: 'Nothing in this world is certain but death and taxes'?" Finn sighs, dripping exasperation.  
  
"Well, I am now," Lexa says, taking a sip of her tea.  
  
"Glad to be of some help, I keep a regular office hours if there's any further information you might need on sayings, common phrases, manners of speaking. My door is wide open. The tea I can provide, perhaps even the milk... low fat."  
  
Lexa stares at him, amused, with that glare that sometimes makes Jake a little nervous because he thinks she can see right through him.  
  
"Yeah, okay well..." Jake steps in, breaking this staring competition between his right hand and the girl who's going to take him away at any moment. He looks at his watch. "I think we've accomplished everything we must this morning, I say we adjourn."  
  
"But, Jake, we..." Finn insists, "we still have matters on the table."  
  
"Lexa," Jake pats her shoulder lightly. "Let's go."  
  
"Of course," Lexa stands up and extends her hand, picking cookie by cookie, making a pile of them over it. "Thank you for these amazing cookies. I was glad meeting you all."  
  
"Who is that girl!?" Finn asks annoyed once Jake and Lexa exit the room.  
  
The walk to his office feels like forever. Jake's glad with this decision but he knows it would bring trouble eventually. The board will see to it, particularly Finn. But right now, he just wants to sit down and work out all of the pending matters of the company without the constant lurking of Lexa behind his back.  
  
"So, is this how it's gonna be?" he asks her once inside the office. "You'll be breathing in my neck until the very end?"  
  
"I don't understand," she replies confused.  
  
"I would like to be alone for a while."  
  
"Are you sad, Jake?, are you upset?"  
  
"Yes, I am. Why don't you go out for a walk or something?, get some air. I know I'll be seeing you eventually."  
  
"Of course," she agrees with her mouth stuffed with cookies.  
  
"Good." Jake takes a couple of 20 dollar bills from his suit jacket and hands them to Lexa. #This will hold you for a while. Go to the movies, buy a hot dog, whatever. Jennifer!, give Miss Woods a map of the city, would you?#  
  
"That's okay, Jake, I can manage. See you later."  
  
For the first time in what it feels like forever, Jake feels actually relieved.  
  
  
******  
  
Clarke walks the crowded aisle of the emergency guard wearing her light blue scrubs, her black slippers and her stethoscope around her neck. Her hair is tied in a bun above her head and she's carrying a couple of files over her clipboard. Her name tag hangs from her breast pocket. She's incredibly tired and her shift is far from over. Today's been quite busy. And her father wants to have dinner again that night and Finn wants to have a drink after that. She rubs her neck lazily and sighs deeply. She just wants to sleep more than 5 hours.  
  
"Hey," she stops by a nurses' station and greets one of them before handling her the files and signing some discharge papers. "Can I get the medical record and the lab results of Mr. Christie, please, and would you try calling his husband?, thanks sweetie," she turns around a bit and out of the corner of her eye she gets a glance of... it couldn't be. But it is. Lexa. Standing right there, in the middle of an hospital aisle wearing a perfectly tailored black suit. Her hair is free from that messy bun Clarke remembers so well, instead it's loose, tucked over her right shoulder. She looks so incredibly different from the girl in the diner now. She looks so regal, so solemn. "What are you doing here?, are you ill?"  
  
"No, I'm not," Lexa answers while Clarke grabs her arm and moves her aside, getting them out of the way.  
  
"Then, why are you here, Lexa?"  
  
"I'm here to see you."  
  
"I'm working, Lexa, I don't have time to see you right now. I'm about to start making rounds and..."  
  
"Very well, I'll watch."  
  
"No, you can't."  
  
"Then I'll wait."  
  
"That's impossible, I'm a doctor and..."  
  
"And I'm a visitor."  
  
"Patients have visitors not doctors."  
  
"I'll be your visitor, we'll make an exception."  
  
Clarke laughs. She truly can't believe this woman.  
  
"Miss!, miss!" a young woman calls her, strolling another woman in a wheelchair. She's not very old, just a few gray hairs in her temples. Clarke looks at how pained and fragile she looks and it hurts her. It always hurts her. No matter how much they tell you not feel anything for the people you treat, Clarke always feels too much. "Doctor!"  
  
"Just one second, I'll be right there," Clarke points out, trying to dismiss Lexa quickly and not so rudely.  
  
"Please, my momma is sicker that her," she blurts pointing at Lexa.  
  
Clarke sighs and when she kneels in front of the older woman and gently rubs her shoulder before making a quick examination, the woman's eyes widen with fear and her expression of pain shifts abruptly. She's staring right at Lexa, who returns her look without blinking.  
  
" _Keryon fotowon,"_ the woman mutters, warningly.  
  
"No, momma," her daughter tries to comfort her.  
  
" _Keryon fotowon_ woman... I'm going to die!"  
  
"Momma stop it, it's just a woman."  
  
"What's a _keryon fotowon_?" Clarke asks confused.  
  
"A bad spirit, she doesn't mean that, she has a fever, the daughter explains, "please help us."  
  
"Of course."  
  
" _Don't worry, woman,"_ Lexa says directly to the older woman, speaking in the same strange language the older woman spoke before. Clarke and the daughter are taken aback a bit. " _Everything's gonna be fine_."  
  
"Have you registered?" Clarke asks the daughter and when she shakes her head no, she leads her mother  aside, just besides Lexa and the daughter to the nurses' station. "We'll be right back."  
  
"Don't leave," the older woman begs, grabbing her daughter's hand desperately.  
  
"Come with me, please," Clarke urges the daughter.  
  
When they leave, Lexa is left alone with the older woman, who cringes in pain while grabbing her belly.  
  
" _Keryon fotowon_ ," she states, glaring at Lexa suspiciously.  
  
" _No, keryon fotowon is evil, I'm not evil_."  
  
_"Then what are you?_ "  
  
" _I'm from the next place_."  
  
" _And you're waiting here to take us?_ "  
  
" _No, I'm on holiday_."  
  
" _Some spot you picked,"_ the older woman says glancing all around her, judging Lexa before cringing again, more painfully than before and then begs her: " _Please, just end it_."  
  
" _I can't, I don't have power over this things, you know?_ "  
  
" _At least make it go away for a while_."  
  
" _The doctor will see to that_."  
  
" _Not this pain... this pains goes through and through. Make it go away_."  
  
" _I can't_."  
  
" _You can, take me to that next place_."

" _It's not your time yet_."  
  
" _Make it my time, then_."  
  
" _You can't rush things, they are what they are and they'll be what they'll have to be_."

" _Please_."  
  
Lexa looks at Clarke and the daughter in the nurses' station, filling paperwork for the old woman's entrance. She sighs decidedly and nods quietly, kneeling in front of the wheelchair. The older woman looks at her with a sparkle of hope and gratefulness in her dark brown eyes.  
  
" _What's you name?_ "  
  
" _Indra_."

" _Indra, close your eyes."_ Lexa leans towards her, gently touching her shoulder and her belly with her hands. " _Everything's gonna be fine,"_ she assures her. Instantly, Indra's pained expression transforms into one of pure relaxation and peace. " _Soon_."  
  
" _Thank you,"_ she says before her daughter and Clarke come back.  
  
"You go with her, I'll be right behind you," Clarke points out to the woman's daughter, smiling a little.  
  
"She's in a great deal of pain," Lexa says. It's not a question but an affirmation.

"What was that language you were speaking?"  
  
"An old one... You know?, I realize now that me being here isn't appropriate."  
  
"Oh, no, it was... I'm-I'm glad that you came," Clarke rushes to say.  
  
"You're not angry anymore?"  
  
"No, I'm not, I don't think I was ever angry... but... Lexa, I'm with Finn," her voice trembles. She doesn't know why she feels the need to make that clear. It's obvious. Lexa already knows that and she had never made any kind of move to hinder that... to change that. Clarke wishes she had. Clarke wishes she does.  
  
"I know."  
  
"I'm sorry, I have to go."  
  
"Be sorry for nothing."  
  
"See you later."  
  
"Goodbye, Clarke."  
  
  
******  
  
When Lexa returns from whatever place she went, Jake is feeling more relaxed about the whole business of early in the morning with the board. He's almost glad to see her. Almost. He asks her where she went but as always, she's cryptic and idle in her words. By lunchtime, Jake orders a pair of lamb sandwiches to be delivered at his office from the company's kitchen and both of them sit down to eat them. Jake, having lost his appetite since this whole thing began, stands up, leaving his sandwich untouched and slowly makes his way towards the window, where she watches Lexa eat, sitting in his chair behind his desks, struggling not to drop the contents of the sandwich in the plate.  
  
"Do you like it?" he wonders, amused by this girl who hums continuously in approval.  
  
"Oh, yes, I do," she says chewing with excitement, "what's it made of?"  
  
"Lamb and honey mustard."  
  
Jake looks outside the window, the same view he's been seeing for the past 28 years. The skyscrapers, those big iron giants who always dare to almost touch the sky. How little the people walking on the street look from above and how the streets that run through the city look like veins. Beyond the sea of buildings, there's a small glimpse of the river shore and the city bridge.  
  
"It's amazing," Lexa states, giving it another big bite.  
  
"Glad you like it," Jake nods, pleased. He hesitates before adding: "You know?, it was my wife who made me a fan of lamb sandwiches... Abby, that was her name." He doesn't know why he's telling her this. Surely she must know. Perhaps she doesn't care. But Jake is surprised when she leaves the sandwich in the plate and nods at him encouraging him to go on. "Yeah, she was... she was a doctor, you know?, like Clarke is one right now. I think that she went to Med school because of her mother. Everything reminds us of her... reminds _me_ of her. There's not a single day that goes by that I don't think about her. One day she wasn't feeling well and the next I knew... she was gone. I guess you've listen to all this like a thousand times, isn't it?"  
  
"More."  
  
"Why didn't you stop me?"  
  
"I don't know. What was it like when you first met her?"  
  
"Oh, that... I thought you've heard this before."  
  
"I'm interested in this part."  
  
Lexa leans in the backrest of the chair and starts rocking back and forth, staring at him attentively.  
  
"Well, she was wearing a hat that I always made her fun of, with a red ribbon tied around it... and this beautiful blue dress with a white collar... blue like the eyes of our daughter," Jake tells her, getting lost in that particular memory. It was the very first day of college, when he saw her walking across the main courtyard. He remembers her blond hair peeking through her hat and the way she pressed her books to her chest while she tried to put her lab coat on unsuccessfully. "You know?, everytime I look at Clarke, I see her and for a while it was painful but now..." Jake looks at any place but at Lexa's attentive eyes, fighting back the tears that threaten to appear on the corners of his own eyes. They are there, wishing for Jake to let them free. "Now I'm grateful for the pair of daughters she gave me and for..." There's a loud knock on the door. "Yeah?"  
  
Finn walks in like he owns the place. "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
"Yes," Lexa says without looking at him.  
  
"No," Jakes corrects, "sit down, Finn."  
  
"Before I'll do, I was hoping we might be alone, Jake."  
  
"Well, Lexa and I have no secrets from each other."  
  
"How nice for you both," Finn says, looking at Lexa with very unfriendly eyes. He closes the door and walks towards Jake. "Excuse me but I was a little confused by your decision this morning. I was hired, well, _you_ hired me to bring Griffin Enterprises to the next level, this merger is the vehicle and I..."  
  
"Perhaps there's a way to bring Griffin Enterprises to the next level and perhaps there's isn't," Lexa steps in, examining Jake's sandwich and asking him permission to eat it as well. "A question can often be answered both ways."  
  
"Lexa, cut it out, you too, Finn," Jake urges both.  
  
"I though this was practically a done deal," Finn says raising his voice.  
  
"Well, now it's an undone deal, okay!?" Jake burst, sitting in one of couches, flipping distractingly fast the pages of one magazine. "Forget Wallace, I'm tired of his fancy name and his fancy offer. I'm not going for it."  
  
"Okay," Finn whispers clearly disappointed. He heads to the door silently, without saying goodbye but looking hatefully at Lexa, who's rocking herself in the chair once more.  
  
"Jake?" she wonders when Finn finally closes the door. "Why at this state of things you're still concerned by business matters?"  
  
"Because I don't want anybody to buy and ruin my life's work!" Jake breaks, upset and agitated, throwing the magazine violently aside and kicking the coffee table in the middle of the office, "turning it into something it was never meant to be. A person wants to leave something behind and they want to leave it exactly the way they made it, okay?"  
  
"Easy, Jake, you'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation."  
  
And Jake _almost_ laughs at that.  
  
  
******  
  
Later, everyone is gathered in the living room before dinner. Allison, Clarke and Finn are chatting below the threshold that separates the living and the dining room, Finn with his arm possessively draped across Clarke's waist, like he tries to makes a statement about it. Little can he do to avoid the little glances Lexa and Clarke share every so often, the little smiles Clarke shoots at Lexa's direction on the other side of the room and the look of awe that Lexa has in her eyes that's only meant for Clarke. Jake and Lexa are sitting side by side in the couch when Quince approaches them with a scotch twirling in his hand.  
  
"Now, listen, old rascal," Quince says, pointing at Jake. He's quite visibly tipsy. "I'm with you all the way down with this Wallace thing, 100% percent."  
  
"Well, thank you, Quince," Jake nods in gratitude.  
  
"But I have to tell you that if mergers are still in the way, I've developed some ideas, great prospects and I want to come and talk about them next week."  
  
"Next week?"  
  
"Or the week after."  
  
"Anything's possible... it's up to Lexa."  
  
"Lexa!, you just don't know how glad I am that you're on board."  
  
"That's very gracious of you, Quince," Lexa smiles. She really likes this Quince guy. He's always cheerful and friendly with her.  
  
"No problem," Quince nods, taking another sip of his drink, winking. "Now, I'll leave you two alone, I can tell there's something in the fire." Quince walks towards Finn and grabs his arm and walks with him away from the others. "Hey, I know you're down but from now on, there's no place to go but up."  
  
"Up?" Finn asks hopelessly, "thanks, Quince."  
  
"Forget about Wallace," Quince suggests patting his shoulder, "I have another couple of merger possibilities up my sleeve. Hey, we're going to into this together but you see, the timing's gotta to be right, because the old man says it's up to Lexa."  
  
"Up to Lexa?" Finn asks. Something flashes across his eyes. "Those were his words?"  
  
"Yeah, that's what he said."  
  
"That's very interesting."  
  
Finn remains thoughtful for the entire evening, dwelling in Quince's words. Maybe there is hope for this merger after all.  
  
  
******  
  
Jake stands up quite abruptly. He ignores the confused glances everyone's giving him and grabs his knife and clicks it in his glass of red wine. He has never been good with speeches. He hates them. He has to make them once in a while but he hates them and now that this speech seems more personal, more intimate, he doesn't hate it but rather he wants it to be perfect. He clears his throat a few times.  
  
"I want to thank everyone for coming tonight, my family: Allison and Quince, Clarke and the others: Finn and... Lexa," he announces quite earnestly. "I'm glad we could get together, I mean some of you are very busy."  
  
"Look who's talking," Clarke comments.  
  
"Yeah, speak for yourself," Allison agrees, smiling widely.  
  
"I remember when you were little girls and now you're all grown up and... I-I had some words in my head but now it seems I've forgotten them," Clarke reaches for his hand and give it a gentle squeeze. Lexa watches the gesture and feels touched by it in some strange way she can't quite explain. "There was so much I wanted to say."  
  
"Daddy, it's okay," Allison offers.  
  
"I seem that I can't find the right words so yeah, I'll better sit down... oh!, how about we all have dinner again tomorrow night?"  
  
"Aren't you tired of us?" Clarke laughs.  
  
"Of course I'm not, I'll never be," Jake says vehemently and leans to kiss both of his daughters on the cheek.  
  
"We'll be here then," Clarke says lovingly.  
  
"Let's have a toast for this family," Jake suggests and raises his glass, smiling like, he thinks, he hasn't smile in a very long time. They all raise their glasses but Finn, who looks slightly out of place, and make a small toast, silently acknowledging everything Jake wasn't able to express with words. "Lexa?" Jake says, pointing her glass with his and encouraging her to raise it and join them. When Lexa does, she gives a small glance at Clarke, who offers her a crooked, content smile.  
  
A few minutes later, Richard appears from behind the kitchen door with a silver tray in his hand. He offers Lexa more roast beef and boiled potatoes. "Oh, no, thank you," Lexa turns down the offer and eyes Richard with a look of complete complicity, "I would rather prefer some peanut butter."  
  
"And how would you like that, miss?, on a toast?" Richard asks, grinning a little.  
  
"No, just the peanut butter, please."  
  
"Why you like peanut butter so much?" Clarke asks once Richard disappears behind the swinging door. Lexa shrugs. "I love things like that," Clarke comments, "food you can't live without... peanut butter, chocolate, ice-cream, jelly beans, cotton candy... I love cotton candy, especially cotton candy you get on a fair after getting down from the roller coaster."  
  
"Yes!" Lexa asserts, her eyes lighting just a bit.  
  
"Comforts you, isn't it?"  
  
"Yes, yes it does."  
  
Finn looks appalled, offended, sitting in the middle of their exchange, looking from Clarke to Lexa and from Lexa to Clarke like he can't believe they're having this children-like conversation. "Mind if I throw up?"  
  
"Finn, come on," Jake pleads, "we're having a good time here, just enjoy."  
  
Silence reigns at the table for a while, only the sound of forks and knives hitting the plates, before Lexa breaks it saying: "I'm very concerned about the woman you began treating today."  
  
"Me too," Clarke agrees, nodding. Jake leans in his chair forward. He didn't expect this turn of events. So that's where Lexa went when he dismissed her after the board meeting.  
   
"Has the pain yielded a bit?" Lexa goes on.  
  
"Well, we are doing everything we can for her but... it's not looking very good. We ran some scans after..."  
  
"Who are we talking about?" Finn intrudes, clearly irritated.  
  
"I'm sorry to hear that but I know she's grateful for the care you're giving her," Lexa comments, ignoring Finn, staring at Clarke with those intense green eyes like they're the only people sitting in that room. Somehow it feels like it.  
  
"Are we being excluded just for the fun of it?" Finn asks Clarke.  
  
"No, of course not, we're just talking about a patient of mine 'cus... Lexa stopped by the hospital earlier today," Clarke tells, addressing the others.  
  
"Oh, she did?" Allison asks. Jake and Finn look confused and outraged but both of them for very different reasons. "That's more than we get to do."  
  
"Maybe next time you go to the hospital to visit _my_ girlfriend you can take all of us along with you," Finn snaps.  
  
"Perhaps you could remind me," Lexa shrugs.  
  
"I'll make a note of it, anything else I can do for you?"  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"I'll come along too, I'd love to see our Clarkey-o in action," Quince chimes in, excited, smiling at his soon-to-be sister in law, who rolls her eyes amused. It's been a long time since someone called her like that. _My little Clarkey-o_... her mother would call her sometimes, on very special occasions. After she had a bad day at school, when she walked inside the house with a big cut in her knee or on her arm all because of her obsession with climbing trees. When her mother tucked her in her bed at night before reading her a bed time story.  
  
"You've got it, Quince. Destination: hospital. Lexa could be our tour guide," Finn blurts with a disgusted grimace.  
  
"Clarke is a wonderful doctor," Lexa states quite solemnly, ignoring Finn once again and addressing Jake with her eyes.  
  
"I'm sure she is," Finn consents but there's so little sympathy in his words and in his way of looking at Lexa.  
  
After dinner, Jake walks out of the dining room and stops by the piano in the living room. He waits for Lexa to join him. He must talk to her. He has to. He feels like the development of the conversation at the table was not part of the deal he had with the girl who would take him away god knows when. She must be true to it and certainly visiting Clarke at the hospital was not doing it at all in his opinion.  
  
"Jake?" Finn catches up with him, "I'll be leaving now, it's been a hell of a day and I need to clear my mind."  
  
"See you tomorrow then," Jake shakes his hand and Finn turns around. Clarke is there waiting for him, like she's just waiting to accompany him to the door but when he ignores her, she follows him visibly confused.  
  
"Lexa?" Jake calls her when she stays in the middle of the threshold, looking at Clarke's and Finn's direction. "Would you please come over?"  
  
"Yes, Jake?" she asks, sitting in the piano stool, looking at the piano quite marveled.  
  
"Why did you go to the hospital?" Jake asks blankly.  
  
"I don't know."

G sharp.  
  
"You were curious?"

B flat.  
  
"I guess."

F mayor.  
  
"About Clarke?"

G sharp.  
  
"I wouldn't put it that way."

B flat.  
  
"How we can put it?"

F mayor.  
  
"You tell me, Jake."

G sharp.  
  
"No, you tell me," Jake blurts, grabbing Lexa's hand to prevent her from playing her recently composed melody. "When I ask someone a question, I expect an answer. That's what I'm used to and if no one answers me, I fire them." That's a lie. He has never done that before.

"Are you going to fire _me,_ Jake?" Lexa looks so amused.  
  
"I swear to god, Lexa, sometimes you just make me lose my nerve," Jake says, pinching the bridge of his nose. He walks away from her and before he leaves the room, he turns over his shoulder and whispers painfully: "I wish I could, though... fire you."  
  
  
******  
  
"Finn, wait!" Clarke calls him before he opens the front door. "Will I be seeing you tomorrow?"  
  
"You'll leave me out of it," Finn replies while he buttons up his suit before giving her the cold shoulder. "I've had enough of this."  
  
"You don't mean that, you don't want to disappoint dad."  
  
" _Daddy_ would do fine, besides, he's got Lexa!" Finn blurts out turning towards Clarke. She suddenly doesn't recognize him anymore, she had never seen him like this, so out of control, letting jealousy get the best of him. His brown eyes turn darker with anger. "And it seems you do too."  
  
"You're out of line," Clarke rolls her eyes, annoyed.  
  
"Maybe but I don't like you with this dyke, I don't like the way she looks at you, I don't like the way she talks to you... and vice versa."  
  
"I'm sorry," Clarke licks her lips. She hates the way he talks about Lexa, she hates the disgust in his voice and in his face, "because I like the way she looks and talks to me... and vice versa, okay?"  
  
"Not okay... I thought we had a good thing going on. I guess I was wrong... go on, Clarke, go be with your dyke and enjoy her, you're made for each other." Finn dances on his toes, giving her the stink eye. "I always knew you were a deviant, piece of..."  
  
"You know what?, I honestly don't give a fuck what you think about me," Clarke replies, "I'm sorry I never told you what I was feeling before, I should have but that's all I feel sorry about. Now get the fuck out of my house."  
  
Finn shakes his head disapprovingly and finally, he disappears behind the front door.  
  
Clarke sighs deeply. She doesn't feel sad or heartbroken. She doesn't feel tears threating to appear and flow, running across her cheeks. She doesn't feel sad for her and even less for him. Raven was right after all: he truly is a douchebag. She always knew it. She feels like she's free from a burden she inflicted upon herself unintentionally. She feels actually relieved.  
  
When she turns around she finds Lexa standing at the foot of the stairs, looking at her with an expression on her face that Clarke can't quite figure out. Not the first time, though. She walks towards her, slowly. The only sound she can hear is the sound of her footsteps in the floor and her uneasy breathing. She tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear and she steels herself.  
  
"How long have you been standing there?" Clarke wonders tiredly, "how much did you listen?"  
  
"I don't like the way he spoke to you," Lexa states, mildly shaking her head. "But I liked the way you spoke back."  
  
"Really?" Lexa nods effusively. She's such a dork. "Tell me about yourself, Lexa, who are you really?, what are you doing with my father?" Lexa remains silent, never indicating a prospect of an answer to come out of her lips. "You're not going to tell me?" More silence. Clarke gets closer and closer, close enough to reach her. She looks directly into her eyes, harder as it is for her. "You always look so lonely, wandering around, so enigmatic... Tell me, how come a person like you, intelligent, well-spoken, attentive and shy in the most seductive way is all alone in this world?" Lexa leans in and for a moment, Clarke thinks she's going to cut the small distance between them and bring their lips together but she steps back a little, like she is aware of something all of the sudden. She blinks a couple of times and Clarke thinks that that is the first time she avoids to look at her in the eye. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."  
  
"Don't worry."  
  
"I guess, we'll leave it a mystery, then."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Where are you going?" Clarke asks when Lexa turns in her heels and climbs the stairs.  
  
"To bed... I'm tired," Lexa answers and Clarke feels a wave of affection run deeply inside of her. Affection for this stranger, for this girl who entered her life abruptly wearing a cardigan, smiling brightly and talking ever so loudly, and now...now Clarke could see a glimpse of that girl again. And she thrives in that feeling. "Good night, Clarke."  
  
"Good night, Lexa," Clarke watches her disappear in the upper floor and returns to the living room where Allison and Quince are saying their goodbyes to her father. "Leaving so soon?" she asks them.  
  
"We have tickets for The Lion King," Allison answers delighted, kissing her cheek. "Get some sleep."  
  
"It's the fourth time she's seen that one," Clarke says smiling when she and her father are left alone. Her father pats the seat beside him in the couch for her to join him and she when does, she rests her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I think she'll see it more that four times," Jake comments, "the other day I heard her singing in the corridor."  
  
"Yeah... she does that."  
  
"Indeed she does."  
  
"Is everything okay with Finn?" Jake inquires a little worried, he puts a finger below her chin and makes her look at him.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, dad," Clarke waves the topic off. She truly doesn't. She hides her face in his father's chest and he just holds her even more tightly. "I'll just say that... I need a hug."  
  
They share a comfortable silence for a while. Jake occasionally sips from his scotch and Clarke breathes in the usual scent of her father, hugging him tightly.  
  
"Do you mind if I raise a little caution flag?" Jake ventures.

"Rise away."  
  
"What is the nature of your interest in Lexa?"  
  
"Well, remember when you told me about 'lighting striking'?... the nature of it is there somewhere."  
  
Jake was dreading that answer. "I won't say it's in the wrong track but..."  
  
"Then what would you say?"  
  
"I don't think this is the lightning you're looking for."  
  
"So Lexa doesn't measure on?, what's going on, dad?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"When you say _nothing_ that way it's always something..." Clarke eyes him suspiciously, amused. "Okay, I'll go to sleep now, dad, see you tomorrow."  
  
"Good night, sweetie."  
  
Jake sighs deeply. He knows deep inside of him that all of this will end badly somehow. He recognizes the signs her daughter is already showing and he just hopes that Lexa keeps her part of their deal. He truly hopes she doesn't nurture her daughter's fixation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Lexa and Indra are supposedly speaking in "trigedasleng".
> 
> "Keryon fotowon" is my very loose translation of "bad spirit".
> 
> Well, see you next chapter, people, hope you enjoy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter... but important. I think.

The small blade of light peaking from the curtains of the salon is dim, leaving the big room in an almost unbearable darkness, emphasizing the hidden nature of the meeting. Its nature and its goal. Finn's standing in the middle of the room, pacing around from now and then with the board directors surrounding him. Some are seated, some are standing. Some with their arms crossed, appalled by this calling; some rather interested in what the youngest member of the board pretends with all of this. Some are suspicious, some are aware.

 

Finn's being quite dramatic about all of this. His face is serious and severe, like he's about to share some tragic and beyond repair news to the rest of the board members. But he's always being good with words. He was the best speaker of his class the since the eight grade... until another one took his place and he had to remove him from the Club.

 

He finally stops pacing around, clears his throat and begins: "I know that you're as uncomfortable as I am to be meeting like this but I got a call last night from Dante Wallace. Not only is he still interested in the merger but he's increasing his offer. Although it pains me to say it, in my opinion, Jake Griffin dealt with us preemptively and dismissed any deal with Wallace. Therefore, and I'm sorry to say that, if we're here to examine this new offer responsively, we must do so without its chairman." There are a few gasps of surprise. He expected this. It was not an easy move the one he's playing but he's decided and he's not going to lose. "Wallace is so anxious that he'd take Griffin Enterprises with Jake Griffin or without him. In this crisis, and be assured _this_ is a crisis, is not pleasant to say the following but, and I would be feeling wrong with myself if I don't say it, that when we present Jake Griffin with the new, improved Wallace offer, if he still refuses to let us consider it and once more makes an emotional rejection, we will have no choice but..."

 

"You're taking this too far, Finn, beware," warns Eddie Deyell, one of the board directors, with his hands sunk in his pockets and an unimpressed face. Finn glares at him, unamused and impatient. They never liked each other very much. Eddie always considered the young right hand of Jake Griffin an opportunist and a social climber. Guess he was always right.

 

"Am I not obligated to?" Finn replies walking towards his assistant, he then whispers something in her ear, with which she stands up and leaves the room silently with her notepad in her hands. "How did all of this come about?: It came with the arrival on the scene of Lexa Woods. 'Lexa who?' Lexa Woods!" he exclaims with the same annoyance that has been creeping inside of him since the very first time he met the young woman with the green eyes. The same distrust and repulsion. "She attends our board meetings, she sleeps at Jake's house, she resides in his office, she never leaves his side and in my opinion she's always whispering in his ear, telling him what to do and Jake's surprisingly listening. Who is Lexa Woods?, what is her relationship to Jake Griffin?, and most importantly, what is behind her influence on our chairman?"

 

"He's had advisors before, you know? Nobody tells Jake what to do," Eddie insists, not believing the nerve of this young man.

 

Finn smiles smugly at those words and points to the person entering the room with his assistant. "Thanks for joining us, Quince."

 

"Sure. Hi, folks," Quince salutes with his goofy smile, waving his hand. "I didn't know everybody was gonna be here. What's up?"

 

"Finn's having a secret meeting," Eddie tells him not hiding the disapproval in his voice.

 

"And I hope you respect its nature. Come sit down here, Quince, please," Finn says pointing at a chair in front of him, in front of everybody. "What we are trying to do here is gather our thoughts regarding Jake's rejections to Wallace's offer and to make an appropriate presentation of how we think the company should succeed. Once you share with our board the same information you shared with me last night, we can do so."

 

"Uhm, well, I'm happy to tell you... that is, that I have great news... as I was telling Finn, I've been preparing some other merger proposals besides Wallace's. Two, possibly three, new and attractive merger proposals," Quince announces excitedly.

 

"And how did Jake react to the news?"

 

"He was interested."

 

"But he was concerned about the timing?"

 

"The timing?"

 

"Yes, Quince, was he concerned about the timing of these proposals?" Finn pressed, rolling his eyes.

 

"Oh!, yeah," Quince realized, "well, Jake said it was up to Lexa."

 

"It's up to _Lexa_..."

 

Finn took an extra moment to enjoy this moment. The looks of understanding in the rest of the board directors' faces. The confused, naive look on Quince's face. The rejection and disgust in Eddie's face. He knows, in that moment, when the majority of the board members start nodding to one another, that he will eventually win.

 

******

 

The Griffin family always ate dessert in a kind of reverent way. But that occasion in particular is special. Because apple cinnamon pie and a cup of coffee with milk was Abby Griffin's favorite dessert and Jake's decided to enjoy it the same way his wife used to: sharing it with her family in that same reverent way. The way she said a good desert should always be enjoyed. That night they are honoring an exceptional mother and wife. He always mocked her saying that it was such a simple dessert but he thinks that now he's enjoying it even more because of her and the memory of her face when she ate it. The memories of times when they reunited on that same table and she asked the girls about school. Clarke always talked animatedly of her art and crafts classes and Allison about her administration courses. When she asked him how the day at the office went. Jake misses those conversations. Later, in their bedroom, she always told him about some particularly difficult cases in the hospital. She never liked to talk about them in front of their daughters but he knew that she needed to let them out, talk about them, about the people she was able to help and the people she wasn't.

 

Jake glances at Lexa from time to time, he notices the small smiles and the small looks between her and Clarke. He knows when his daughter is in awe. He's so familiar with the spark in her blue eyes and that mischievous, particular curve of her lips that adorns her smile. And he's afraid because Lexa's face shows exactly the same signs and he's sure that the slice of pie she's enjoying quite happily and the cup of coffee with milk she sips humming in delight are not the only reasons behind it.

 

"Tataram, taram," Allison sings when Richard and Lillian appear from behind the kitchen door carrying three trays with three different cakes, which they put in front of him.

 

"What's this?" he asks.

 

"Annie made them," his older daughter answers setting aside the cups and the candle holders to make more room for the cake trays.

 

"Who the hell is Annie?"

 

"Thank you, Lillian. Annie's the _best_ pastry chef in America. This one's made with real Seville oranges," Allison points at the cake closer to her with a large cake spatula, a pretty two tier cake decorated with white, blue and orange glaze. The she points to the next, which looked like a big chocolate truffle. "That other one is lemon and..."

 

Jake nods incredulous. Sometimes Allison's timing is truly the worst. "I don't like cake," he shots, gesturing at the sample desserts.

 

"It's for the party, daddy," Allison's face drops, looking quite offended but she entertains herself cutting slices for everyone.

 

"Ah, of course, the goddamn party," he mutters bitterly.

 

"Yes, the _goddamn_ party. Did you hear that?...the _goddamn_ party!"

 

"Oh, come on, Allison, let's try this one here," Quince grabs the cake spatula from her and cuts a small piece of the cake and eats it. Allison meanwhile, starts sobbing quietly. "Hmmm, this is terrific, Jake you should try it. Clarke, do you want some?, it's amazing!" he shots a pleading look to her sister in law.

 

"Yes, of course, Allie, let's stuff ourselves with each cake like we did when we were little," Clarke says encouragingly.

 

"I'm sorry, darling, why don't you chose whichever cake you like?" Jake reconsiders, with a softer voice.

 

"I knew you were gonna say that."

 

"What?"

 

"You just _don't_ care. I'm trying to throw the party of _the_ century, for my father in a few days and he doesn't give a shit."

 

"He gives a shit," Quince intervenes.

 

"He doesn't!"

 

"He does give a shit, don't you, Jake?"

 

"Come on, Allie," Jake gives in, extending his hand for his older daughter to take. She takes it after she cleans some of her tears in her fiancé's tie.

 

"What do I tell Annie?"

 

Jake extends his arms and then points several times at the cakes. One, two, three and pinch his fork in the first one. The Seville oranges one. "This one... yes, this is the one. Tell her that, tell Annie, the best pastry chef in America, that I want a six tier cake of this one, so big that it could reach the sky."

 

"Oh, dad, you do give a shit."

 

Everybody burst into laughter. Lexa saw the entire scene, this... family dynamic, unfold before her eyes with complete wonder. She marveled at Allison's passion for perfection and neat details, and at Quince's loving support for his fiancée. She understood Jake's reaction and hoped he could've reacted in a different way but she liked the way he reconciled with his daughter's petitions. And Clarke... she saw Clarke's eyes when they looked at her sister and then at her father, pleading him to be more thoughtful with her sister... perhaps because she sometimes felt the same way as him concerning Allison. Lexa saw her smile and listened to the sound of her laugh, she saw the way her hair fell over her shoulders and the way she held the cup of coffee up, at the height of her thin lips and she knew that in that moment of quiet reverie, she was gone.

 

She _is_ gone.

 

She is gone when they all enjoy the cake together.

 

She is gone when she says goodbye to Allison and Quince.

 

She is gone when Jake wishes them good night and she doesn't follow suit even though she knows she should have.

 

She is gone when Clarke asks her if she could accompany her to the library to get her book.

 

She is gone when they enter the big room and she follows the steps of the blonde woman, when she starts pointing at the bookshelves guarding Jake's rare book collection at the right and the bookshelves with Jake's collection of English XIX century literature first editions at the left. The sound of her voice is intoxicating...

 

"There's a first edition of Great Expectations, that's my father's favorite..." Clarke explains and then she stops close to a big wall clock. It looked old but well preserved. Its ticking is barely perceptible, but if you pay enough attention you could listen to it. Same as Clarke's heart. Same as her own heart. "You know?, my mom used to say you could match your heart to the ticking of this clock."

 

"Could you?"

 

'I don't know, I never tried... until now."

 

"And how's that?"

 

"Lexa?" Clarke whispers. She still has her back to her and she could feel Lexa's proximity but, in some way she couldn't quite explain, Lexa still feels so far away despite her closeness. Clarke turns around slowly and her eyes meet green and she knows she is gone as well. "God, you don't know how much I want to kiss you right now..."

 

"Kiss me...?"

 

But before she could say more, she feels Clarke's lips on her own.

 

It's a short kiss. Their lips barely touch. Their mouths slightly opened. Clarke steps back a little and looks at Lexa's eyes, still closed and she feels her go rigid when she rests her hand on her shoulder, slipping her fingers in the nape of her neck, drawing her in, closer... so impossibly closer. Clarke kisses Lexa again and this time it's deeper, not so doubtful... it's eager. They tilt their heads to be more comfortable. Clarke caresses Lexa's lips tentatively with her tongue. Lexa hums lightly when their tongues meet halfway... she feels light headed, she relaxes into Clarke's embrace. She knew she was gone but this... this is entirely different from everything she has felt so far.

 

Is this what Jake talks about passion and obsession?, singing and dancing?, rapture...?: Clarke's lips, their slow and torturous dance?, the touch of her skin?, getting lost in her smell?

 

When they part, Lexa can still feel Clarke's breath tickling her chin, she can still feel her kiss. Clarke leans into her, her forehead resting in her cheek and Lexa leans into her touch too.

 

"I thought I didn't know who you are," Clarke speaks softly into her ear.

 

"Do you now?"

 

"You're Lexa..."

 

"And you're Clarke," they laugh against each other's lips, "and... you know?, I feel my knees trembling, is this normal?"

 

"And you heart is racing?"

 

"It certainly is," Lexa agrees looking at Clarke's eyes, she can't help but to dart from them to her lips. "The taste of your lips and the touch of your tongue, it felt... amazing."

 

Clarke smiles widely, fiddling with the thin lapels of Lexa's blazer. She's about to say something more, she has so much she wants to say, there's another kiss she wants to plant on Lexa's lips... the first of many more to come, she hopes, when she hears someone clearing their throat behind them. "I- I should go... see you tomorrow, Lexa. Night, dad."

 

"Good night, sweetie," Jake says when his daughter hugs him briefly, before exiting the room.

 

"Hello, Jake," Lexa greets him.

 

"Hello."

 

"I thought you went to sleep."

 

"Clearly... I wanted to tell you that tomorrow we'll be leaving early."

 

"Thank you, I'll be ready."

 

"Okay... good night, then."

 

"Good night, Jake."

 

Lexa tries so hard to ignore the disappointed look in Jake's face before he disappears behind the library's door. Lexa tries so hard to remember the feeling of not being left completely alone that Clarke offered her but Jake suddenly brought back with his disapproving eyes and the shake of his head.

 

Lexa tries so hard but she fails.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why but this is my favorite chapter *-*  
> I really do hope you enjoy reading it as I enjoyed writing it.

A few days later, Jake and Lexa walk calmly towards Jake's office. The telephones are ringing, keyboards are being smashed by fast fingers and there's this usual sound of muffled chatting, characteristic of a very busy office. They are greeted halfway by Quince, who shakes Lexa's hand animatedly and pats Jake slightly on the shoulder.

 

"Good morning, Jennifer," Jake salutes his secretary.

 

"Good morning, Mr. Griffin," she replies, handing him a carpet. "The board is waiting for you."

 

"The board?"

 

"Didn't you... call for a board meeting?"

 

"No, I didn't but well, let's see what this is about."

 

When they enter the meeting room there's this air of heaviness hanging around. The board directors look grim, with their heads down and thoughtful expressions painted on their faces. It reminds Jake of a funeral. He chuckles internally. Maybe this is just a rehearsal for what's to come. Finn is the only one standing up, with his arms crossed in front of his chest and his jaw clenched. When Jake stands behind his chair, he looks at everyone, puzzled and intrigued by this turn of events. He's not upset, he just doesn't understand. He hopes to not have a reason to be eventually upset. Some of these people are good friends and co-workers. He doesn't wish to leave this world in a quarrel.

 

"Good morning," he says, frowning.

 

"You want a cup of coffee or something, Jake?" Finn offers coldly.

 

"I don't think so."

 

"Do you want to sit down?"

 

"No, I'm fine where I am."

 

"Let's get to the point then," Finn cuts severely. "We received new information from Dante Wallace concerning his desires for this company to merge with his. And we wanted to set the details before you."

 

"Is that it?"

 

"Wallace wants a quick response..."

 

"The answer is _no_ ," Jake shots categorically. "Quick enough for you?"

 

"Don't you want to hear the details?"

 

"I'm not interested in the details and I'm not interested in the big picture, either. What I'm interested in is why my board got convened behind my back and why it's considering proposals from a man I consider offensive to do business with. I made a decision, no is the answer now and forever. Case closed."

 

"I am to understand from your response that you don't want to hear the details of Wallace's offer?"

 

"Yes you are to understand that and now, I want to ask you a question."

 

"Of course."

 

"Are _you_ running this board or I am?" Jake's calm but he feels his patience beginning to slip away dangerously fast. Finn remains silent. "That's it?, I've got a busy day ahead and this meeting is already settling me behind. Shall we adjourn?"

 

"But before we do, Jake, and while we're here, there's a second question the board would want response to. Far simpler: who is the woman standing to your left?"

 

"I've already introduced Miss Woods," Jake points at Lexa with his thumb, who is standing a couple of steps behind him, shooting a penetrating but amused and at the same time scolding glance at Finn.

 

"But _who_ is she?, what are her credentials?, what is her relationship with you?" Finn insists. Jake looks down. If they had any idea of the kind of relationship he has with this girl... no one would be able to possibly understand the nature of it. No one would be able to grasp the idea even. "The board is deeply concerned. We have reason to believe Miss Woods is not only influencing your decisions in regard to this company but that you are letting her make them for you."

 

Quince closes his eyes heavily at that. He understands now. Everything. He mentally scolds himself for being so stupid.

 

"The lack of response is not appropriate," Finn goes on and on. Jake discards the idea of a funeral and now thinks of all of this as a trail. A trial he knows he will not come out of with a favorable verdict. "We are your board. We have a right to know how you're managing this company and most importantly, that you're not delegating for someone to do it for you. One more time: who is Lexa Woods?"

 

Silence.

 

"A motion has been brought to the board to invoke article 19 of the corporate charter."

 

"In English, please," Jake begs, although he knows exactly what Finn's talking about.

 

"Mandatory retirement on our chairman's 55 birthday," Finn states. It feels far worse than Lexa's news the other day. It feels a thousand times worst than the news of his own death. Jake can feel his life's work already slipping away and he's left completely powerless and helpless to do something about it. "At this time, the chairman would be made emeritus. You're welcome to attend all meetings and will serve as international spokesman for the corporation but you'll have no voice or vote. Plus, of course, your settlement. A golden sum so high that your feet would never touch the ground... Please, board members, indicate your vote by 'yes' or 'no'."

 

The room fills itself with the quiet choir of a 'yes' overshadowing a couple of even quieter 'no's'. Quince's and Eddie's.

 

"Motion's passed," Finn announces before sitting down, avoiding any kind of eye contact with Jake or Lexa. "We'll, of course, delay the announcement out of respect for our former chairman until after the celebration of his birthday this weekend."

 

"Well, thanks for avoiding me the humiliation, Finn," Jake says, irony dripping from his voice.

 

"The other motion is the acceptance of Dante Wallace's offer to merge this corporation with Wallace International."

 

At this point, Jake just grins. He's tired. He feels the sweet and tentative taste of giving up already and no matter how much he hates it, he just don't want to fight it anymore. "Okay. Lexa, let's go," he finally says before heading to the door.

 

Lexa stands right where she is, hands clasped behind her back. "Who I am and what is my relationship with Jake Griffin will be revealed at its own good time."

 

"Well, glad to hear that, thank you, Miss Woods."

 

"You're welcome."

 

Jake and Lexa leave the room in absolute silence. A silence that stretches for a few more minutes before it's broken by Finn's voice once again. Finn and his ambition. Finn and his slightly cunning smile. Finn and his merciless quest for control. And now that he finally has it, he feels it as some kind of rewarding revenge.

 

******

 

When the board meeting is over, Quince heads straight to Finn, who is talking to his secretary, telling her to call Wallace's office to tell him that they've won. He grabs him by the arm and violently obliges him to face him.

 

"What the hell was all that about, Finn?" he asks perplexed and disappointed, "what did you do?, you've gotten the old man fired!"

 

"That _we_ did," Finn replies content. With a smug grin plastered all around his face. "Jake was hesitating to drop the towel but you supplied the knockout."

 

"I will put a stop to this."

 

"Quince, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs."

 

Boy, how Quince hates Finn's stupid sayings. "I didn't mean to do this."

 

"Train's left the station, buddy, and you're aboard. Now, would you like to hear the silver lining?, scratch that, gold." Finn gets closer and whispers: "Once Dante Wallace acquires Griffin Enterprises, he's gonna break it apart and offer piece by piece to the highest bidder. That was the plan right from the start. Gratifications for you?: You'll sell your stock, you'll be positively, truly rich. You can finally stop kissing ass."

 

"I'm going to expose you," Quince promises but he knows how much his hands are tied by this asshole.

 

Finn laughs arrogantly. "Yeah, go right ahead. You go and tell Jake Griffin you betrayed him on a secret board meeting. Tell sweet Allison how you helped her father lose his company. This is life, Quincy, wake up. See you later."

 

Quince watches him walk away after patting his back condescendingly and in that small instant he hates him so much but no more than he already hates himself.

 

******

 

Late in the afternoon, when Clarke tentatively knocks the door of Lexa's room, she still doesn't know what she will say or do when she finally sees the person that has been occupying her train of thoughts for the entire day... She doesn't know how she will react when she sees those green eyes again. She doesn't know what can she possibly say when she feels the need to kiss Lexa again, she doesn't know what she will do if they do kiss again. Maybe that's the only reason why she's coming over looking for her. She wants to talk to Lexa, she wants to kiss her... she wants to be with her. That's her only reason. There's no need for further explanations. Clarke has run out of them.

 

Clarke spent the entire day daydreaming. Raven had a pretty good time teasing her about it, laughing at her “dreamy eyes” and her “air of complete infatuation”... she even sang the chorus of “Lovefool” by The Cardigans when they were having their usual meeting for lunch.

 

"Well, look at you now, Griffin... you're actually blushing, I never thought I'd see the day..." Raven teased her, only to be rewarded with a slight punch in the arm and Clarke's trademark eye roll.

 

But Clarke did her best to push the thoughts of Lexa away when she had to: attending an emergency call from one of her patients, explaining the severe but treatable conditions to the concerned family of another, looking over lab results, listening to Raven explaining the mechanics and reparations she ran for the CT scan... but when she had a free moment, no matter how small it was, those thoughts came rushing back again. She just couldn't keep them away. The memories of last night at the library, replaying in her mind with agonizing detail. Hours have passed and they're still fresh and Clarke wants to just drown in them.

 

She opens the door slowly and finds Lexa sitting at the edge of the bed, thoughtful, staring at nothing in particular. Her hands are resting at her sides, palms open over the blankets. The sun sneaks behind the half opened curtains. It's the lazy kind of sunlight that points out a tired sun that it's just beginning its slow but daily journey to the west, leaving space for the dark night and the moon to replace it in the big sky. It's a warm and comforting sunlight, the kind that doesn't burn, that doesn't make skin itch at its contact... it's like a whisper of a touch. Just barely there.

 

"You're here," Clarke says but she doesn't move from the threshold of the door. She stays there, with her hand still on the door handle.

 

"I am," Lexa smiles widely when she finally looks at her.

 

"I- I just got here," Clarke announces, finally closing the door and making her way towards Lexa.

 

"I'm so glad you are."

 

"I called dad's office and they told me you two already left."

 

"Your father is taking a nap," Lexa replies sternly, "he had a pretty rough day."

 

"Is he alright?" Clarke asks worriedly. "All this merger thing seems to..."

 

"Don't worry about him, Clarke," Lexa tries to comfort her, standing up. "He will be fine."

 

Clarke's hesitant, even a little doubtful. She's standing in the middle of the room, a few steps away from Lexa. She looks so beautiful, Lexa thinks. She's wearing a casual v-neck burgundy dress and her hair is tied behind her head with a hair clip. Thin locks of her hair fall across the nape of her neck. She fiddles with her watch bracelet nervously.

 

"I wanted to..." she begins but when Lexa steps closer, right in front of her and kisses her, she forgets any words she was going to say, any excuse she had prepared and just melts into Lexa's kiss, clutching desperately to the fabric of her black blazer.

 

"I've been waiting to do that the entire day," Lexa whispers, parting a little, looking into Clarke's eyes. "I thought about you all the time, I-I... it's seems I can't stop thinking about you."

 

They smile at each other, like a pair of fools, sharing a silent, little moment of mutual understanding. They are on the same page. When Lexa starts to lean in again, Clarke stops her and brings her hands to her chest, tucking them inside her blazer and taking it off, sliding it from her shoulders. It drops silently at their feet. She grabs Lexa's tie and gently unties it. Lexa hasn't stopped looking directly at her, with a small smile in the corner of her lips. A smile that suddenly disappears when Clarke's fingers start unbuttoning her shirt. She stops by the third one.

 

"Is this okay?" she asks.

 

Lexa nods and takes Clarke's hands in her own and kisses them before undoing her shirt buttons herself. She lets Clarke take the shirt off in the very same way as she did with her blazer, her hands barely touching the swell of her breasts. They kiss again, deeply and profusely. When Lexa tries to shoot her hand up to touch Clarke's face, she notices that, before falling entirely on the floor, the shirt got stuck in her wrist. "I can't take this off," she states.

 

Clarke laughs loudly and helps her with the button of the sleeve, frowning in concentration, bitting her bottom lip and tucking her hair behind her ear, getting it away from her eyes. Lexa looks at her, her eyes adoring every detail of the other girl's face: her slightly turned-up nose, the small birth mark in the corner of her upper lip, the faint freckles in her cheeks, the barely perceptible dimple in her chin. Lexa kisses her temple. She helps Clarke getting off of her dress and her underwear, caressing her tights lightly when she does. She draws her lips across the nape of her neck. She slides the straps of her bra off her shoulders and she unclasps it, along with hers. She follows her when she sits on the bed. She holds her breath when Clarke's hands touch her abdomen until they reach the button and zipper of her pants, when she takes them off for her, when they are both completely naked in front of each other.

 

They fall sideways into Lexa's bed after Clarke finally removes her hair clip. Lexa sinks her fingers in waves of blonde hair and untangles it slowly. She gets lost in Clarke's eyes, in those changing shades of blue. Sometimes they are blue like a summer sky, sometimes they are blue like the ocean waves breaking in the beach. Sometimes they look gray when she's sad and sometimes they just sparkle when she's happy.

 

Facing each other, they are unsure how to start. So they kiss again, freely and languidly for what it seems like hours. They let their hands do what their minds can't: just let go and feel.

 

"I don't know what to do," Lexa confesses after a while, catching her breath after a long, desperate kiss.

 

Clarke feels that same newfound rush of affection and tenderness shot through her over and over again. Lexa hasn't even dared to touch her beyond the height of her waist. She retracts her hands everytime they wander far beyond her lower back. Clarke is resolved when she takes one of Lexa's trembling hands and guides it from where it rests at the top of one of her breasts, tracing a line that ends between her legs. She holds her own breath in anticipation when she feels the hesitant touch Lexa offers her, cupping her sex, gently stroking her clit, collecting her wetness right above her slit.

 

"Just keep doing that," Clarke exhales heavily, bucking against Lexa's fingers, raising her leg and wrapping it around Lexa's hip to give her better access, guiding her to her insides.

 

Their sweaty foreheads knock together. They share a few soft gasps and kisses before Clarke grinds her tight against Lexa's core, tearing a strangled, almost agonizing sigh that gets lost in the crook of her neck. Lexa keeps the steady motion of her hand and fingers when she trails her lips from Clarke's neck to one of her nipples and she nips and sucks and kiss... and Clarke feels how her arousal starts building within her.

 

"Look at me," Clarke pleads, resting one of her hands in Lexa's jawline and the other one on her shoulder. She keeps rocking herself against Lexa and she can already feel Lexa sharing the same pleasure she's feeling right now. She can feel it, she can see it, she can sense it... and it's hers and only hers. She thrives in it, she swims in it.

 

When Clarke comes, she does with her eyes open, sinking into Lexa's green orbs, with her mouth just barely open, letting out a muffled moan that Lexa kisses away. There's a whole new mixture of sensations exploding within her that wander all over her body: A small wave of pleasure still throbbing in her core. The sound of her agitated pulse in her ears. Lexa's kiss at the base of her throat. The way the last rays of sunlight caress and illuminate hers and Lexa's skin. The little drops of sweat their bodies share. The way Lexa tries to keep rocking herself against her tight... that's all it takes for Clarke to flip them over, pushing Lexa to her back.

 

Lexa watches Clarke as she traces the valley between her breasts with the back of her hand, going down with a torturous pace until she finally touches her slick core. She enters her swiftly and Lexa just wants to get lost in the sensation. It doesn't take long before she's faintly moaning Clarke's name, with her nose pressed against her lover's cheek, neck, temple and her hands clasping what they can, sheets, hair, skin. That strange feeling building inside her suddenly grows bigger, stronger and she wonders how... how is it possible for her, in truth a being of endless void, higher than time and ages, the only constant and certain thing that mercilessly rules the world, this entire universe... larger than god and religions and beliefs, feared and worshiped all the same, is able to feel this sensation of ultimate abandonment. How, where did she lost control? In which moment she allowed rapture, longing, passion and obsession rule her instead? What is this power, this force that pulls her towards Clarke? How could she live without it from now on?...

 

And perhaps, that is the only answer Lexa needs in that moment.

 

She can't.

 

Because she's not allowed to live... or to die.

 

She exists. She's ancient and forever long.

 

That's it.

 

She will always be. She will travel across ages and never perish. Because she is the end itself.

 

She can't dwell on the notion of deserving or not deserving this gift in the form of the blonde girl in her arms, touching her, kissing her, offering her every ounce of arousal and tenderness she's is capable to provide and that she, Lexa, nurses like a thirsty, desperate person in the middle of a vast and lonely desert.

 

She can't dwell on the fact that she only arrived to Clarke's life to bring her pain, to make her suffer. Firstly, by taking her father away from her... and now, by falling completely and utterly in love with her, with no promises of a happy and fulfilling future. Unable to promise her to stay. She must go.

 

She can't dwell on that because if she does, she will lose and she's not ready to lose. Not yet.

 

"Clarke..." she pants, almost silently, ever so reverently. She holds her, she clings to her anxiously while Clarke keeps thrusting her fingers between her legs and finally, after what it seems like an eternity, she comes whispering the blonde's name over and over again, like a song that it's meant for her and only for her. For Clarke. A song, a melody that mixes with the sounds that Clarke breathes in her ear, that get lost in her hair, the ones she finally kisses... and kisses... and kisses.

 

They remain tangled in each other, not creating a single inch of space between them. Clarke's still inside of Lexa. She doesn't want to let go. But when they finally part, they do so but just a little, breathing together, sharing the same air. Lexa swallows hard and gives Clarke a ghost of a kiss in the tip of her nose. They clasp their hands in the space between them, above their breasts. Clarke avoids eye contact and collects small drops of sweat in Lexa's collarbone while Lexa constantly tucks locks of golden hair behind an earring-less ear. Lexa is not shy when she looks directly at Clarke, with her green eyes half-opened, dream-like, lost in her.

 

"I love the color of your eyes," Clarke sighs, finally looking at Lexa. "I love how they bare me everytime they look at me... and... and I loved making love to to you. Did... did you like making love with me?"

 

"Yes."

 

"More than peanut butter?"

 

"Much more."

 

Clarke nods, holding back her laughter. She looks at Lexa and tries to catch her eyes but they look away after a moment and Lexa suddenly looks, feels so distant, like she's gone despite being right there, with her. "Where did you go?"

 

"Nowhere," she answers... she lies, still caressing Clarke's hair. "I'm here."

 

"For how long?"

 

"For a very long time, I hope."

 

"Me too," Clarke moves closer, she bumps their noses together, she grazes her fingertips over Lexa's nipple... she clings to her. "God, Lexa, me too."

 

******

 

Clarke receives a page call a few hours later. She truly wants to spend the night home, with Lexa, but it's an emergency that will likely keep her in the hospital for the rest of the night and good part of the next morning. Lexa only smiles in understatement, there's not a single trace of disappointment or displeasure in her eyes and Clarke loves her more for that. _Loves..._

 

They help each other getting dressed. When Clarke grabs Lexa's tie from the floor and makes her way to her to tie it again, Lexa takes it away from her and tosses it over the bed, chuckling a little.

 

They share their goodbyes in the foyer. Kissing continuously, holding to each other like they don't want to truly let go, even if it's for a few hours, even if it's pretty certain they will see each other again the next day.

 

"What do we do now?" Lexa finally asks, her palms flat in Clarke's back. She can't hide her worry. Not anymore.

 

"It'll come to us," Clarke assures. She feels like she can do anything from now on. She always did, but now... now there's this newfound certainty adding to her usual confidence. She kisses Lexa again and again, she feels Lexa's thumbs brushing her arms and Lexa herself wants to believe in those words. She wants to believe in them so much. Reluctantly, Clarke untangles herself from their embrace. "I have to go."

 

"I know. Take care, Clarke."

 

"See you later." With that, Clarke finally leaves, grabbing her bag and waving goodbye to Lexa before disappearing behind the front door.

 

"Hello, Jake. Had a nice nap?" Lexa greets, still looking at the door.

 

Jake watched the entire scene from the top of the stairs in complete denial.

 

"Yes... I'll come down." Jake stops her with a wave of his hand when Lexa turns around in her heels to approach him. He feels anger building up on his insides when he's finally in front of her. He doesn't feel intimidated by her piercing eyes or by who she is when he asks: "What's going on? I saw you kissing Clarke."

 

"I saw you watching us," she answers simply.

 

"Well, you're in the wrong place, in the wrong time and with the wrong woman," Jake replies.

 

"I'll be the judge of that."

 

"I'm her father!"

 

"With all due respect, Jake, I'm not asking for your permission."

 

"Well, you goddamn should!" he shouts, losing the last thread of patience he had left. The sound of his voice echoes in the empty hallways. "You... _you_ walk into _my_ life, give me the worst news someone can get and now you're spooning with my daughter?"

 

"Spooning?"

 

"Yes, dammit!, stop repeating everything I say and turning it into a question. Spooning!, fooling around, God knows what else. You arrived in the scene and... why you picked me? I still don't understand."

 

"I do this every so often. In this occasion, I chose you for you ability to... instruct. You've lived an extraordinary life, I found that practical to my interests."

 

"So, you do this 'every so often'?, does that mean you go around picking random people and fool around with their daughters?"

 

"Of course not."

 

"What do you want, then?" Jake sighs. And he thought this day couldn't possibly get any worse. "Everybody wants something, Lexa. I thought I knew who you were, it wasn't a whole lot of fun but it was almost bearable... but now this is, this is something else. What do you want, specially with my daughter?"

 

"I guess I'm just living by your teachings," Lexa shrugs nonchalantly. "Looking for that 'ounce of excitement', that thing that gives a sense to our lives. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

 

Jake laughs sardonically. So, _that_ was it. He eyes her in disbelieve but certain that he caught her in the middle of all the lies she's probably telling herself in that instant and who knows since when, in her sassy remarks... in everything's she's hiding behind them. "So you're violating the laws of the universe."

 

"This universe?"

 

"Any universe that exists or has ever existed. You may be the... expert, Lexa, but I know who you are and I know what you feel, and let me tell you that you're all fucked up."

 

Lexa crooks a smile that is anything but happy. "I don't like your tone or your allusions."

 

"And I don't give a shit." Yes, Jake, provoke her, it'll be neat.

 

"Perhaps it's time to remind you that you're not dealing here with a poor little suitor. This is _me_ , so be careful, Jake."

 

"Cut all the bullshit."

 

"I'll say it again, be careful, Jake."

 

"I'm not afraid of you."

 

"And I don't expect you to be."

 

Lexa turns her back to him and walks away. Jake stays in the middle of the foyer. Both of them thinking exactly the same but with different tones and different ends to it.


	6. Chapter 6

Clarke walks into the library the next day after her night shift, rubbing her neck and finds her father sitting by his large desk, playing cards all by himself. Although playing is an understatement. He's just absently piling them, one by one, no matter the color or if they are blades, hearts, diamonds or clovers.

 

"Hey, dad," she greets him but he doesn't even turn around to look at her. "Have you seen Lexa?"

 

"Lexa?" he sighs. He's tired of her name. He's tired of everything that involves her. "Lexa's not around."

 

"Do you know where she is?'

 

"No, I don't... why are you looking for Lexa?'

 

"Oh, dad," Clarke almost squeals in her own happiness. She walks towards him adjusting her pony tail. "Love?, passion?, obsession?, all those things you told me to go looking for?... well, they've arrived and..."

 

"This is crazy!" Jake cuts her off, standing abruptly. This is the first time in his life that he wants to keep his own daughter at bay, to be far away from her as possible.

 

"Why?" Clarke wonders, frowning deeply. "She shows up, almost never leaves your side, you clearly trust her, depend on her, so why aren't those things good enough for me?"

 

"You don't know anything about Lexa."

 

"What are you afraid of, dad?, that I fall head over heels for Lexa?... well, I have. Just like you did with mom and... isn't that what you always wanted for me?"

 

"Clarke..." Jake whispers, pinching his nose. "I don't think Lexa is gonna be with us much longer than she already has."

 

"Where is she going?"

 

"I don't know... I can't say."

 

"Come on, she's working with you and always know..."

 

"In this case I don't and I will only tell you that with Lexa you're in very, _very_ dangerous ground," Jake warns. He feels like he's having the same conversation all over again. And he feels so helpless because he knows that, right now, he just looks like a petty jealous father who doesn't want his baby girl to go away with someone she loves. He looks like someone who can't accept the fact that his daughter is a grown woman with a mind of her own and a heart that yearns for love... He feels helpless because he can't actually explain to Clarke the true nature of the woman who is awakening all those precious feelings inside of her and how much that fact can truly ruin her... and Lexa as well. "I told you not to get attached to her, I told you it was not good for you, for her..."

 

Silence. An uncomfortable and distressing silence. It had never been that way between them. It feels wrong on so many levels. Finally, Clarke parts her lips and whispers a confession Jake was dreading all along:

 

"I love her..."

 

"I don't care if you love her!... I'm telling you, Lexa is no good for you."

 

"… and I love you too, dad," Clarke continues, ignoring his father's anger and despair, "but you're not making me change my mind about her. I'm sorry."

 

"Clarke..."

 

"I'm going to Raven's and then I'll head back to the hospital. See you later."

 

******

 

"Hey, miss, excuse me, may I help you?"

 

Lexa's standing in the middle of the same hospital aisle from the last time she went looking for Clarke, with a 10 dollar bouquet of flowers in one hand and a stuffed raccoon in the other. She bought them in the hospital store. She feels excited and content. She woke up feeling that way, filled with feelings she couldn't quite contain or suppress. She feels that today anything could be possible and it's quite an addicting feeling. She could feel a renewed hope that everything could turn out for the best. She has ideas. She has projects. She still feels hope... still stubbornly clinging to that thin thread of hope because that's all she has.

 

She looks at the nurse addressing her from the nurse station and clears her throat before saying: "Yes, I'm looking for Dr. Griffin, please."

 

"She'll be back until 6," the nurse answers.

 

"Oh, I see."

 

She could wait. She could go and return later. Or, she could go and visit Indra. So she decides for the latter. She doesn't need to ask for her room. She knows exactly where to go. A couple of floors above. An empty aisle. The aisle of the terminal patients. Where silence and sadness prevails above everything else. Silence as heavy as... as death. Sadness as heavy as the last goodbyes and the unwillingness to let go. Lexa is not affected when she encounters a couple silently crying and comforting each other in the waiting room. She knows. She's the reason behind their tears.

 

When she reaches Indra's door, she knocks three times and enters when there's no answer. Somehow she hopes that Indra's daughter is away.

 

The older woman is resting in an hospital bed, with the backrest slightly turned upwards. She's wearing those typical hospital robes, white with small blue dots. Her arms rest flat at her sides, both of them with IV needles injecting medicines and fluids periodically. Drip by drip by drip. The only sound in her room is the sound of the machine that measures her signals. Lexa stands at the foot of her bed, with the bouquet of flowers and the stuffed raccoon.

 

" _About time you showed up,"_ Indra says when she finally opens her eyes.

 

" _Don't be feisty."_

 

" _I'm not_."

 

" _Your daughter?_ "

 

 _"She went home, to get a change of clothes, I told her to get a shower as well... she was starting to smell pretty bad."_ Lexa smiles, sitting by Indra's side, in a small chair. She puts the flowers above Indra's legs and rests her arms and her chin in the handrail of the bed. " _Are you coming for me at last?"_

 

_"No, I came to see the doctor."_

 

" _What could be wrong with you?"_

 

" _Nothing."_

 

" _Oh, you came to see_ my _doctor."_

 

" _Yes... mine too, you know?"_

 

Indra briefly and knowingly chuckles. " _Are you in love?_ , _a_ nd _she loves you back?"_ Lexa nods dreamingly at both questions but suddenly, Indra's smile vanishes from her face and a frown appears at her brow and in her lips and in her eyes, if that's possible. " _Does she knows who you really are?"_

 

" _She knows how she feels,"_ Lexa answers defensively.

 

" _You don't see how bad this is?"_

 

_"Don't tell me this, please."_

 

" _This is bad for her, bad for you... bad for everyone."_

 

 _"I can't do right with you people,"_ Lexa blurts, standing up, clearly exasperated but more confused than anything. " _I came here to take you, you want to stay. If you have to stay, you want to go_."

 

_"You're not in your right place, miss... me neither. No more... Take me and come with me."_

 

" _But..."_ Lexa says, bowing her head down, looking at her feet, " _I don't feel so alone here. Somebody actually wants me here..."_

 

" _And_ _I'm happy for you but..."_ Indra says nodding knowingly, " _think of this as you told me it is: you came for a holiday. The truth is that, if you stay long enough, it could be easy to let go and forget who you are and what you have to do. So take a nice picture along with you but don't be fooled. We are lonely here too. If we're lucky, maybe we collect nice pictures and memories to take with us."_

 

" _You have nice pictures to take with you?"_

 

" _Oh, yes, I do."_

 

Lexa sighs deeply and closes her eyes heavily because she understands Indra's words, she understands her scoldings. She understand and she knows. She heard the same words in her mind the day before. She heard them in Jake's worries, the ones he passionately voiced in the foyer. She hears them everywhere...

 

She knows... no matter how hard she tried to keep them away, to bury them below all that false hope and optimism. She just knows.

 

" _Goodbye, Indra,"_ Lexa whispers when she opens her eyes and sees Indra, now peacefully making the journey to that place... the place where we all end up eventually. The only place we all truly belong to.

 

Lexa doesn't return to the hospital once she leaves. The flowers and the stuffed raccoon long forgotten in the bed, by Indra's feet.

 

******

 

Jake has been in the library since his discussion with Clarke in the morning. The cards are still scattered above his desk. The lights are dim, the darkness of the night is creeping all over the room. He didn't bother to go outside to eat or drink. He hasn't seen anyone. He just wants to be alone, no matter how foolish that could be. He knows he should be with his family, enjoying these last few moments together but everything is just... everything feels like it's falling apart and he's so tired to feel strong anymore and try to keep everything together.

 

He's sitting in one of the couches, with his legs crossed and his arm resting in the armrest. His face barely illuminated by the lamp at his side. He hears footsteps approaching and he knows instantly those footsteps belong to Lexa.

 

She looks firm, almost regal, looking directly at him while she approaches... without blinking one bit. Those eyes are determined. Sometimes they scare him but sometimes, and Jake marvels at that, they are capable of showing such affection... affection that he knows is only meant for his daughter. How can this be?

 

"Hello, Jake," she greets him.

 

"Yes?"

 

"I have the feeling that, the purpose of this journey has been entirely fulfilled."

 

"What are you saying?" and he knows immediately it's such a stupid question. He knows. He had always known. He wishes he just doesn't. "It's time to go?"

 

Lexa nods briefly. "It is."

 

"I'm ready," Jake says and he wants to sound decided and, yes, ready but deep inside of him, he's truly not.

 

"You are?"

 

"I am."

 

"Good," Lexa states, walking away. "Tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next day, Jakes wakes up feeling calm, reconciled with everything he must face when the day ends... when everything ends.

 

Accompanied only by Lexa, he takes breakfast and prepares to leave to the country house within the hour. Allison is already gone and must be arguing with the staff about last minute party details. Clarke's not home either, she's probably at the hospital, clearing her schedule to be free for the party tonight.

 

He asks the cook to prepare his favorite breakfast: plain and simple scrambled eggs with bacon, a couple of pancakes and a cup of coffee. He says goodbye to the entire staff of the city house, hiding his actual sadness behind small laughs here and there when they look at him strangely because everything seems too formal, like he's saying goodbye before making a long, long journey.

 

Before leaving, Jake takes a last walk through the house. The library... his precious collection, all the books that offered him comfort or advice, tears and laughter at certain moments of his life. His bedroom... and all the memories embedded in it, memories of his wife before she became ill and spent the last year and a half of her life in a hospital bed; memories of their night kisses and their daughters jumping on the mattress when they were little girls with crooked pig tails and toothless smiles. Every single wall of the house covered with Abby's art collection, the same collection that he abandoned after her death and Clarke encouraged him to continue. The view of the city, always the same but constantly changing, how much the years have passed and how much he will miss that view, the very same one that always greeted him. The living room with the piano that Allison always played so well, the piano with all those photographs resting above its tail... photographs of his family: his parents' wedding photo, and his as well; his baby daughters on the days they were born, in Abby's arms, in his arms; Allison’s first piano recital, Clarke's marveled face the morning after she was first visited by the tooth fairy, Abby and their daughters building sand castles on a California beach, Christmases and birthdays alike, proms and Allison's engagement party a year ago. All those memories... all that happiness and sadness alike.

 

Jake breathes heavily. He told himself that he was not going to cry but sometimes promises are so hard to keep. Nevertheless, he chokes back a sob and walks towards Lexa, who's waiting for him in the foyer and together they exit the building, boarding the car that will take them to the country house.

 

He says goodbye to the city as well. Not bothering to talk to Lexa, he just looks outside of the window, taking in an entire city landscape that tomorrow will still be there while he will be gone. How incredible is the way we tend to ignore all those tiny details that could be considered too common, too normal on a busy day. How easy we could ignore the beauty behind their simplicity. Jake observes the buildings standing like giants. The people walking on the streets, tourists, students, workers, mothers, fathers, lovers, all of them with a story of their own, leading simple but complicated lives, navigating through this sea we call life. The park, the businesses, the landmarks, the baseball park, the subway, the bridge, the river... everything.

 

When they finally arrive to the country house, they park near the garden, not even close to ready to receive the long list of Allison's guests. There's still a lot of workers, florists, caterers running from one place to another and Allison is still in the middle of everything, shouting and stressing about every little detail, wearing a pair of sunglasses and a hat to protect her from the warm sunlight.

 

"Hello, Ellen," he greets the housekeeper.

 

"Hello, Mr. Griffin, you have a call, from Mr. Deyell."

 

"Thank you," Jake turns to Lexa and waves his hand to stop her from following him inside the house. "Excuse me."

 

Lexa watches him walking away, accompanied by Ellen. She looks around, finding herself surrounded by people coming and going, flowers and table sets, a festive air is beginning to spread everywhere. She quickly spots Quince sitting all alone in front of what must be the bar. She walks towards him carefully avoiding bumping with the florist and the workers carrying folding stairs and other tools. He looks positively miserable, staring absently at the pair of bottles of red and white wine that one of the waiters have just popped open for him, the same bottles he takes in his hands and pours generously in two drinking glasses.

 

"Hey," he greets her sadly when he notices her standing besides him.

 

"Hey, Quince," Lexa greets him back.

 

"Red or white?"

 

"No, thank you."

 

"Come on, have a drink with me!" Quince encourages her, patting her arm. "It looks like you need one as bad as me."

 

"You think?" Lexa asks sitting besides him, fiddling with the other glasses in front of them. "Quince, you know? I find myself a little confused."

 

Quince laughs a little, so mirthlessly and drinks, first from the red wine and then from the white. "Confused? About what?"

 

"Love."

 

"Ah, love!" another double drink. "Oh, gal, I've got troubles of my own."

 

"You love Allison, don't you?" Lexa presses.

 

"Yes, I do," Quince answers quickly and firmly, like he was defending his own feelings.

 

"How did you two met?"

 

"Well, in college... she was this prissy and joyful rich girl and I was this incredible loser, and for some reason she took me in."

 

"But Allison loves you?" Quince just nods, over and over before bursting into tears. He tries to recover from his little breakdown and smiles bitterly at Lexa before taking another large double drink. "How do you know?"

 

"Because she knows the worst thing about me and... and she's okay with it."

 

"What is the worst thing about you?"

 

"It's just... not one thing specifically, it's the idea that she knows my mistakes and my faults," Quince explains, gesturing a lot with his hands. "It's just... you know each other's secrets, the deepest, darkest secrets."

 

"The deepest darkest secrets?"

 

"Yeah! And after you do that you're free."

 

"Free?"

 

"Free! Free to love each other completely, totally... no fear because you know everything there is to know about each other and it's okay."

 

Lexa nods briefly and looks away, thinking carefully about every single one of Quince's words. He eyes her hesitantly; parting his lips constantly, unsure how to start this conversation. But he needs to let it out; he needs to confess this feeling pressing in his chest, this guilt... he needs a little understanding.

 

"Do you think I'm a good person, Lexa?"

 

"Oh, yes, Quince, you're one of my favorites," she smiles candidly.

 

Quince meanwhile looks like he's about to cry again. "What if I tell you it was _me_ who brought down Jake Griffin?" he confesses, sighing heavily. "I told Finn and the board that Jake depended on you. Finn and Wallace planned everything from the beginning, selling the company in parts once the board agreed to sell it. Wallace from the outside, Finn from the inside and _I_ was the fucking idiot who made it all happen."

 

Lexa looks at him, nodding in understatement and solidarity. Quince hides his face in his hands, complaining about a headache and Lexa shoots her hand up to give a couple of gentle pats to the top of his head.

 

"What do I do?" he asks, almost like a pledge for help.

 

"Go to Jake Griffin and tell him the truth," Lexa offers simply. "He'll forgive you."

 

"You think so?"

 

"Yes."

 

"You think I should wait until after the party?"

 

"No," Lexa shakes her head, "don't wait."

 

******

 

"Come on, Clarke, stop staring at your gorgeous ass in the mirror and come down, we gotta go," Raven yells from the foyer. "I'm sure it looks perfectly fine."

 

The sun has just set in the horizon and Clarke's nervous. She's nervous about the night. Somehow she spent the entire day wishing for the night to arrive, for the sky to transform gradually with the colors of dawn and a starry night. But now that the stars begin to appear one by one in the violet, sunless sky, Clarke is nervous. She feels her expectations and her hopes pouring from her pores, she can't do anything to control them. She doesn't want to. She's been feeling too much for the past few days and she's sure she wants more. She wants to feel everything, all at once; clinging to those feelings so greedily and never let them go.

 

She's nervous about seeing Lexa once again since they made love. She’s spent a lot of time in the hospital ever since, working through paperwork after Indra's passing and the complications after Mr. Christie's surgery. But she managed to leave everything in order before the party. She's expectant about seeing those green eyes and the adoration they hold for her and only for her. She's hopeful that her father will be more understanding of her feelings for Lexa.

 

Those precious feelings...

 

She looks at herself in the mirror one last time and takes a long breath before exiting her bedroom and going down the stairs. She finds Raven at the bottom of the stairs, tapping her feet on the floor impatiently.

 

"Damn, Griffin, you sure look fine," Raven comments whistling loudly, "I'm sure your stranger from the diner's jaw will be on the floor."

 

"Lexa, Raven," Clarke rolls her eyes at her best friend, chuckling.

 

"Lexa, right!" Raven exclaims while they head out of the building. "I'm looking forward to meeting her."

 

"Am I stupid, Raven?" Clarke nervously asks her friend once they're inside the car, while they cross the city bridge. Raven eyes her in disbelief because stupid is one of the many things Clarke Griffin could never be. "Am I stupid for feeling like this?" Clarke continues, sighing deeply, "am I stupid for falling utterly and completely in love with a stranger? Pissing my father off and forgetting all sense of security in the way?"

 

"Of course you're not stupid," Raven states. "Honestly, you've been waiting all your life for a chance to feel like this, Clarke."

 

"It's only been a few days..."

 

"And they could be hours or years, who gives a fuck? Who's counting?"

 

"I'm scared," Clarke finally confesses, twisting her fingers above her lap, "I'm scared this is just a nice dream... I fear that it will not last."

 

"Fuck it, Griffin, just live it," Raven smiles taking one of her hands in her own and squeezing it gently.

 

However, Clarke's anxiousness only grows bigger and bigger once they approach the gate of the country house. Waiting in a long line of cars slowly driving towards the house's main entrance. The entire house is illuminated beautifully and even the fountain at the center of the main path is on when usually it never is. Clarke knew Allison's guest list was incredibly long but she never actually expected to see this many people, in their best attires, walking towards the house. She recognizes half of them. Allison's always been so over the top about parties. Some of them greet her when Raven and her get out of the car and make their way to the house. She greets some of her father's college friends and his secretary, Jennifer. The sound of the band's music reigns above the sounds of muffled chatter and drinking glasses clinking against each other. Raven's already got a drink in her hand but Clarke... Clarke is eagerly looking all around her, searching for those green eyes, searching for that unique mane of brunette hair to stand out in a sea of sparkling dresses and elegant tuxedos.

 

Clarke walks to the large doors that lead to the garden where the actual party takes place, to the structure that guards the dinner tables and the band of musicians. And then she sees her, slowly climbing the stone stairs at an almost hesitant pace. She walks towards her, dodging all the other guests walking in the opposite direction. And that tells a lot about her: Lexa is so unusual, so special... she's different from everyone else; she stands up in a crowd that goes in one direction while she goes in the opposite. She looks so beautiful in that long black dress of thin straps, with her hair loose and tucked over her shoulder. There's so little eyeliner on her eyes but somehow that makes the characteristic green in them stand out more. They shine like all the lights in the white lampposts around them. They look at Clarke in awe, like they always do... They look at her with love and Clarke feels dizzy. She feels the heaviness of her father's words and her fears that previously overshadowed everything else, that overcame her own feelings and her hope, slowly slipping away.

 

"Is that her?" Raven asks, waking Clarke from her self-absorption.

 

"Yes, it is," Clarke answers tucking her hair behind her ear.

 

"Hello," Lexa greets them; she stays a couple of stairs below Clarke and Raven.

 

"This is my best friend Raven," Clarke introduces them, "Raven, this is Lexa Woods."

 

"Hey, so nice to meet you," Raven says animatedly, sipping from her glass.

 

'"Nice to meet you as well, Raven," Lexa nods slightly, quirking a little smile at Clarke's direction. Her eyes look at her again. Clarke suddenly wishes for them to be alone, so safely alone, holding each other, breathing the same air. She wishes they could talk far away from prying ears and curious eyes.

 

"Well, it's pretty obvious that you two _want_ to be alone, so this is my cue to leave," Raven says, looking between her best friend and Lexa before sipping the rest of her drink. '"'ll go find Allison, maybe she's stressing about something and watching her snap is so funny. See you later, lovebirds."

 

Raven gets quickly out of sight in the crowd, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone... alone with their feelings that threaten to explode at any moment, alone with this unbearable silence between them.

 

"I've missed you," Clarke finally says.

 

"I've missed you as well," Lexa smiles weakly.

 

"My father told me that you might be leaving."

 

"Your father and I... well, our time together has come to an end."

 

Clarke breathes heavily, nodding. "So I've fallen in love with a woman and I don't know where she's going, or when."

 

"I can tell you when," Lexa says, taking one of her hands between her own. Her eyes look suddenly pained: "Tonight."

 

"So it does get worse."

 

"No worse than it gets for me... I've fallen in love with a woman who I don't want to leave," Lexa swallows and clenches her jaw before whispering: "I don't _want_ to leave."

 

Clarke doesn't care anymore that they are in the middle of the stairs or about the people around them, she wraps her arms around Lexa's neck and breathes in the curve of her neck and gets lost in her hair. She feels Lexa's palms on her bare back; she feels her lips tracing her shoulder. "Then don't leave, stay with me."

 

"There's so little we know about each other... so much I should tell you."

 

"That will come, Lexa... that will come."

 

Lexa offers her that crocked smile that Clarke has learned to love so much, she strokes her cheek, she looks at her hopefully. "Will it?"

 

"Yes," Clarke assures with her hands on Lexa's shoulders, looking her straight in the eye. "I wanna be with you, Lexa."

 

"You do?" she asks hopefully, almost at the brink of tears before hiding her face in Clarke's shoulder, holding her tightly.

 

"Yes, I've never been so sure about anything in my life as I am about this, about you... about _us."_

 

"I have to go and find your father," Lexa informs her, kissing her forehead, "will you wait for me?"

 

"I'll be right here," Clarke smiles widely, with conviction. "I'll go find Raven, maybe we'll mock Allison together."

 

Lexa's smile shows the same conviction and certainty. She kisses Clarke's forehead again, she lets her lips linger for a while on her temple, close to her hairline. She smells the strawberry scent in her hair and she untangles reluctantly from Clarke's arms and winks at her before heading inside the house. She asks one of the maids where Jake is since he disappeared completely after they ate lunch with Allison and Quince. She tells her that Jake was last spotted in his study.

 

When she knocks on the door, Lexa can hear Quince's voice and she smiles because surely he's confessing to Jake his role in Finn's schemes.

 

"Hey, Lexa, come in!" Quinces says excitedly when she spots her, waving a hand at her, inviting her to approach them. Jake is sitting behind his desk, pen in hand, documents in the other with his glasses at the top of his nose. He, like Quince, is wearing an elegant three-piece black tuxedo. "I want to thank you. Lexa knows the whole thing, Jake, I told her and it was her idea that I come clean... I mean, I wanted to but she, well, she helped me find the courage to do it... I see you have business of your own, I'll be leaving now," Quince says when he notices the tension between Lexa and his father in law.

 

"No, we don't... however, before you leave," Jakes stops him. "I do have some unfinished business with Finn. Bring him, I want to tell this guy how I feel face to face."

 

"That could be a little difficult, Jake, I doubt he's willing to see you," Quince argues but when Jake glares at him all serious and unimpressed, Quince stiffens and agrees. "I'll deliver the package."

 

"Thank you, Quince."

 

Lexa watches Quince leave the room with a soldier like pace and she walks towards Jake's desk once he closes the door behind him.

 

"How you doing?" she asks.

 

"What the hell do you care?" Jake spits, venom in his voice and all.

 

"Just asking, Jake."

 

"You want to know? Well, I'll tell you," Jake sighs, taking his glasses off and tossing them on his desk before standing up and walking towards the door, clearly not wanting to be in Lexa's presence anymore: "You're looking at a man that is not walking but galloping to the 'Valley of the Death'. At the same time, the business he spent all his life building is on the bridge of collapse and has been snatched from him by a couple of cheap pirates... Oh and I almost forgot: my daughter's fallen in love with Death."

 

"And I'm in love with your daughter," Lexa confesses at last, watching Jake stop abruptly by the door. He has a white-knuckle grip on the door handle and he let's out a heavy breath before turning to her, a furious glare in his eyes that he tries unsuccessfully to hide.

 

"Say again?" he demands, frowning.

 

Lexa sits on the edge of the desk, palms flat in the borders and braces herself for the outcome of her next words: "I'm in love with Clarke and I'm taking her with me tonight."

 

"You're _what_?" Jake asks disbelievingly.

 

"I think you heard me, Jake."

 

"You're not taking Clarke _anywhere,_ I thought we had a deal."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Clarke is my daughter," Jake says firmly, "she has a wonderful life ahead of her, you're gonna deprive her of that and you're telling me you are _sorry_? Well, apology not accepted."

 

"I don't care, Jake... I love her."

 

"How perfect for you... you take whatever you want because it pleases you, that's not love."

 

"What is it, then?"

 

"Some silly infatuation that you're indulging yourself with and that's missing everything that matters."

 

"Which is...?"

 

"Trust, responsibility, compromise and above all, not hurting the person you love."

 

"So that's love according to Jake Griffin?" Lexa mocks him.

 

"Multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever and you can barely have a glimpse of what I'm talking about."

 

"Those were my words," Lexa smiles.

 

"Well, now they're mine."

 

"Jake... Clarke _wants_ to come with me. She loves me."

 

"She loves you?" Jake objects, "did you tell her who you are? Who you _really_ are?"

 

"No."

 

"Does she know where she's going?" Jake keeps pressing her. He scratches his temple a little bit and, with his hands on his waist, he approaches her. Lexa remains silent. She looks like a scolded child after being caught behaving badly or after making some mischiefs. Defiant and stubborn. She looks at him with those impossibly intense green eyes, those unreadable eyes that in that moment are not able to hide the mixture of feelings invading them, swirling around them. Jake sees in them anger and resolution but at the same time they show a tiny bit of understanding. "Clarke fell for that poor girl she met at the diner whose body you took and everything else has been just an aftermath. You say you love her but you don't even know what love is. Yeah, she loves you, I can see that but she doesn't know who you _really_ are and above all, you made a deal, _we_ made a deal and now you're breaking it."

 

"I don't like what you're saying."

 

"I don't care what you like or don't like! You're stealing my daughter and I'm not gonna let you."

 

"Not gonna let me?"

 

"No, I'm not gonna let you, dammit."

 

"Are you threating me?"

 

"I certainly hope so!" Jake finally snaps. He can feel his face painted red with his irritation and his frustration. "You know what? I'm tired of your arrogance; I'm tired of _you_. You don't have any idea... I love Clarke and I've loved her since the day she was born, she's one of the best things in my life. My dream is for her to find someone who discovers how magnificent, kind and strong she is. Someone who discovers what a magnificent woman she has become. And I wish for her to discover someone who can love her in return, who is truly worthy of her, someone of this world, of this time! Someone who has the grace and compassion to walk with her through this wonderful thing we call life."

 

 _Life_... how Lexa hates that single word. Because life is the opposite of everything she is... of everything she _truly_ is. That... thing she's been hiding from Clarke since the first day. Her essence. Yes, she hates life. She hates it because she doesn't have it and she never will. She hates it because she is the opposite of it. Like day and night, like black and white... there's life and death and she's destined to be the end. The end of all things.

 

"Enough!" Lexa barks, jaw clenching over and over again. She hits the desk with her palms violently and stands up heading to the door. She needs to get out. She needs to find Clarke. She needs to find reassurance in her blue eyes. "I know what I want and what I want is Clarke, and I will have her and she will have me, and that's the end of it. There's nothing you can do about it."

 

"Then why come and tell me all of this, Lexa?" Jake refutes suspiciously, chuckling lightly. "I mean, you're the big shot; you're the biggest shot of all. You don't have to ask for my permission and yet you did. You know why? Because deep inside of you, in your infinite ends and depths of forever, or whatever you're made of, somehow and some way, you've become a good person and you know this is all wrong. I don't know what you're gonna do but how can this be love? She doesn't know who you are. Tell her, see what happens. Reveal everything there is to know about yourself and let the chips fall where they may."

 

Same words as Quince's. Be honest and become free in the process or keep lying, keep hiding behind excuses and fears and lose everything. But... despite everything, she will inevitably lose because Lexa _knows_ she doesn't belong here. She knows she's not the woman she took. She knows. But it's so hard to even think about letting go of all these feelings, all these experiences, all these wondrous things that invaded her senses for the past few days. These borrowed senses, these borrowed moments. And Clarke... Clarke, who is the best part of this whole adventure. Jake said he wishes for someone to discover how special Clarke is. Lexa already has. She finds Clarke to be the most amazing person. She marvels at her graciousness, at everything she does and everything she's capable of. She's in awe of her. Of who she is, inside and out. She feels drawn to her, it's an unexplainable force that pulls her towards Clarke. Clarke. Magnetic and effortless in all her skills and her flaws, in all her beauty. If only Lexa could be that _person_.

 

Lexa stops by the door before exiting completely. She sighs. She wants to ignore the truth, ignore everything. But maybe this is what love is like after all. Caring for the person you love, like Jake said. And she cares, god, how much she cares. Lexa cares so much for Clarke that it's actually tearing her apart.

 

She knows what she must do.

 

******

 

When Lexa goes outside again, she finds Clarke talking with some other guests, circled by them, standing beside Raven, with a glass in her hand. She's laughing freely. Her face is filled with joy. She looks beautiful, her gray blue dress matches perfectly with her eyes, which shine like never before. Her hair falls freely on her shoulders. Her cheeks flushed, painted lightly by a rosy tone that matches perfectly with her skin. When Clarke looks in her direction, her expression suddenly changes: she looks at her mischievously. Lexa tries to smile a little when she approaches her. She tries to calm her nerves, she tries to keep her emotions and all these feelings at bay, she tries to control her sadness and the idea of what she must do and what she wants to do... run in complete opposite directions, with the only promise to break Clarke's heart... and her own too. A heart that she doesn't own. A stranger's heart. Lexa must remember that as well. She tries to think about that, over and over again, just to remind herself that she's not this person. That body, those feelings... she stole them, she greedily stole them that morning, with the car accident she caused. She was selfish. She will not be selfish anymore, not if that means hurting Clarke more than she already has.

 

Clarke stands in front of her, smiling widely and after a moment, she leans to Lexa's ear and whispers: "You look so sexy standing right here, in the middle of all these people." Lexa closes her eyes heavily and takes Clarke's hands between her own, caressing her knuckles and the back of her hand. "If you're trying to read my future, you're looking at the wrong side," Clarke says, watching Lexa kissing her palm, resting her cheek there.

 

"There's something I want to tell you," Lexa says, her throat burning with words she must say but doesn't know how.

 

"But you can't?" Clarke wonders, amused. Lexa wishes it wasn’t so difficult to voice her feelings and her fears... the truth. "Remember that morning in the diner? When you said: 'what's wrong with taking care of someone you love, they take care of you'?"

 

"Did I say that?" Lexa shoots her eyebrows up, hiding her eyes from Clarke's.

 

"And I said you'll have a hard time finding that person. Well, you've found her, Lexa."

 

"The diner?" Lexa whispers breathlessly. Everything began there, Jake was right all along. The diner. The bloody diner. The girl she took... that girl with hopes and dreams… with a new job and a brother. The girl Clarke truly fell in love with. The girl she's not. She's been just fooling herself all this time.

 

"That was the place and you were the girl," Clarke goes on and on, while Lexa feels like everything's crashing down inside of her. "... you said that you didn't want me to be your doctor because you didn't want me to examine you. I have examined you after all and I want to do that for the rest of my life, Lexa."

 

Lexa remains silent. She barely listens to the music playing in the background, or the chattering all around her... the sound of footsteps, the sound of Clarke's voice.

 

"You are so serious, what's going on?" Clarke asks, frowning.

 

"I have to go, Clarke," Lexa sighs, finally looking at Clarke in the eye and it's hard when her blue eyes look like that... look at her like that. Wide and bright, concerned but at the same time showing all the love Lexa knows Clarke feels for her. They twinkle like every other light in the middle of that warm summer night. The artificial lights in the lampposts and the natural lights of the stars in the sky.

 

"I know but... I could go with you," Clarke says firmly. "Or do you want me to wait until you come back?"

 

"If only I could tell you... if only you could understand..." Lexa shakes her head. "Do you think that... what I mean is that, may I kiss you?"

 

When Clarkes nods, Lexa leans to her and rests her palm on the crook of her neck, drawing her in, closer to her and kisses her. And it's different from every other kiss they've shared so far. It's not desperate or needy but neither is it slow. It’s tender and long... or at least it feels like it's lasting forever. Lexa lets her lips linger for a little while on Clarke's bottom lip and then she pecks her a couple of times with little kisses.

 

"That felt like goodbye," Clarke says when they part, tears brimming in her eyes.

 

"I'm still here," Lexa assures her.

 

"But you're not, you're somewhere else... you feel somewhere else."

 

"What if I tell you I am... somewhere else... that I _am_ someone else?"

 

"You're someone else?"

 

"I am... don't you want to ask who?"

 

"Yes but..."

 

"But?"

 

"Lexa, I'm afraid..." Clarke confesses and Lexa hates herself for painting Clarke's eyes with tears, erasing every trail of that previous happiness.

 

"Afraid to find out? Please don't be, Clarke... don't be afraid of me," Lexa begs her. She's not sure she could bear that. "You don't have to be afraid because it doesn't matter what I am, you know... you just know."

 

"You're..." Clarke hesitates but Lexa sees realization in her face. Clarke's not stupid. She knows... "You're Lexa."

 

"And you're Clarke," Lexa says, smiling a little, piercing her eyes into Clarke's, "and…and I promise you, you'll always have what... _who_ you found in the diner that morning."

 

"Lexa..." Clarke whispers when Lexa holds her one last time... one last time being in this young woman's body. One last time feeling Clarke's skin, her touch. One last time smelling her scent, so unique and pure. One last time hearing her raspy voice. One last time looking at her eyes, at her gorgeous face. One last time knowing that she's loved. Lexa wants to laugh because with her, everything is a last time.

 

"And know this: I love you... now, I'll love you _always._ You gave me a kind of happiness I never thought I could feel. Thank you for loving me, Clarke... Clarke..."

 

"Please don't go..."

 

"I'll always be with you, Clarke... always."

 

Lexa kisses Clarke's forehead and she lets go of her embrace, walking away, not turning back... not even bothering to look over her shoulder, avoiding those blue eyes, the sadness in them. She disappears into the middle of the crowd, into the darkness of the night.

 

In an instant, Clarke feels so alone. There's hundreds of people around her but she feels so hopelessly alone.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, school got in the way..  
> I want to give a very special thanks to my beta "Peckstein" for the help. Seriously, thank you so much.  
> Hope you enjoy this one and don't hate me too much for the angst.
> 
> See you in the last chapter :]


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last notes and explanations at the end... enjoy.

Jake's still sitting by his desks in his study, waiting, thoughtful, staring at the void in front of him when Lexa walks inside the studio looking for him. She looks serious and regal as she always does but with a trace of sadness in her eyes that Jake couldn't quite place.

 

 

Maybe she... no, she didn't.

 

 

"We should start thinking about going, Jake," Lexa informs him. Jake nods. "Just the two of us."

 

 

"Thank you," Jake whispers, relieved and truly thankful. After all, she kept her promise.

 

 

Quince opens the door. His goofy face and a mischievous smile appearing just a little by the crack of the door. It's like he's enjoying this secrecy and plotting to bring Finn down a little too much. And hell if he does. Jake smiles a little and tells him to come in.

 

 

"Jake, the car will be here in two minutes," Quince says, clapping his hands. "We got him!"

 

 

"How are we on time?" Jake asks Lexa.

 

 

"We're fine," Lexa nods briefly.

 

 

"Bring him in." "Ellen?, I know you're busy but can you please call Eddie Deyell."

 

 

"At home, sir?"

 

 

"No, he's at the office."

 

 

"Hello, Jake,we're all ears," Eddie greets him when Jake activates the speaker phone.

 

 

"Good evening, members of the board, this will only take few minutes of your time. As custodians of the company, you'll be receiving information that will be valuable to you. Thank you."

 

 

Lexa stands behind him, looking through the window. Finn enters the study with Quince by his side. He closes the door and Jake hates the smug expression on his face.

 

 

"Good evening, Jake."

 

 

"Thank you, Quince," Jake ignores him.

 

 

"I want you to know how much I appreciate this... grand gesture."

 

 

"Shut up and sit down," Jake orders him. Finn opens his mouth like he wants to say something but he just follows as he's told, sitting down at the chair in front of Jake's desk. "You're a useless sack of shit, Finn, you pursued an alliance with Wallace to dismember my company to fill your own pockets."

 

 

Finn shrugs, with fake disbelieve. "I don't know where did you get that idea. The board agreed..."

 

 

"The board didn't know that you were a spy, working from the inside to bury us all."

 

 

"Is this another one of Lexa Wood's fantasies?" Finn says, annoyed, pointing at Lexa. "Aren't you tired of this? I mean, nobody knows who she is but one thing everyone knows is that somehow she got into your ear and she's being pouring poison into it ever since."

 

 

"You're the poison, Finn," Lexa comments, still standing besides the window, still looking through the curtains. She turns around after a moment and walks towards him, with her hands behind her back. "You've operated behind the scenes and betrayed a man who considered you a friend and an ally, even something more given your former relationship with his daughter. I've had the opportunity to witness all kinds of deceptions but Jake Griffin has been the victim of one kind of trap that I've never seen before and yet, he has shown an stoic and selfless stance without revealing my true identity because he's too honorable to do that. Because of me, he has lost his life work, his reputation. So now, given the circumstances, I'm compelled to reveal who I am."

 

 

Jake looks at her terrified while Finn shoots his eyebrows up, faking eagerness. He taps the arms of the chair like he's trying to conceal his excitement. Lexa looks at him and she can't believe how a person could be so fake and despicable.

 

 

"So tell me," Finn says, rolling his eyes, "please tell me, I'm peeing in my pants."

 

 

"Lexa, don't do this," Jake intervenes warningly.

 

 

"It's ok, Jake, it's time to put this person in his place."

 

 

"That's not necessary, Finn's going to quit."

 

 

"I'm not going anywhere," Finn pointed out, all arrogance and pride.

 

 

"Prepare yourself, Finn," Lexa warns. "I..."

 

 

"Lexa..."

 

 

"Jake, let me take it from here… I am an agent from the Internal Revenue Service."

 

 

Finn's cocky smile slowly fades away from his lips only to be replaced by a horrified expression. His jaw looks like it's about to drop entirely to the floor and after a while, he looks at Jake, trying to find some kind of sense in Lexa's words.

 

 

"Yes, she's an agent," Jake agrees, standing from his chair and sitting besides Lexa on the edge of his desk. They both cross their arms in front of their chests, while Finn sinks more and more in the chair.

 

 

"We were convinced Wallace had structured his deals and acquisitions suspiciously only to avoid paying taxes, so the agency asked Jake to help with an undercover investigation. We wanted to go after him and this deal gave us the perfect opportunity," Lexa explains neatly.

 

 

"And I offered to cooperate," Jake says, nodding slightly. "Lexa here smelled your involvement, Finn, so she developed evidence that proofs that you've been working for both sides of the fence. Unfortunately for you, that is what is known as a conflict of interest."

 

 

"Undisclosed conflict of interest."

 

 

"An offense."

 

 

"An indictable offense."

 

 

"With a likely conviction."

 

 

"Very likely."

 

 

"I need to talk to my lawyer," Finn sighs, standing up.

 

 

"No lawyers, Finn," Jake says, "we're gonna offer you a deal: confess to the board every detail of your participation and then submit your resignation."

 

 

"What to I get?"

 

 

"Not going to jail, of course."

 

 

"You're offering me a deal because you don't have any evidence against me."

 

 

"We've got plenty of proof."

 

 

"Finn, should you chose to test my resolve on this matter you'll face and outcome that it's beyond your comprehension." Lexa warns him. "And you will not be counting the days, or the months or the years but millenniums in a place with no doors."

 

 

"All right, you win, as soon as I get back to the city I'll meet with the board and..."

 

 

"You're meeting with the board right now, Finn," Eddie's voice suddenly comes out of the speaker phone, "and we accept your resignation. Moreover, I propose a motion to reconfirm Jake Griffin as the chairman of the board of Griffin Enterprises, as well as a rejection of the merger with Wallace International." A chorus of 'yes' sounds above Eddie's voice. "Motion is passed."

 

 

"Thank you," Jakes says, "that's more that I bargained for, I just wanted to make things clear."

 

 

"And you have, it sounds that these guys want you back, Jake. You'll get their apologies later, meanwhile enjoy your party, I'll take care of the nasty details... Mrs. Woods, thank you."

 

 

"My pleasure, this is every agent's dream, perhaps I'll get a promotion."

 

 

"Who would've believed it?" Finn asks, shaking his head towards Lexa. "You, an IRS agent!"

 

 

"Death and taxes," Lexa shrugs.

 

 

******

 

After Finn leaves, still incredulous of the whole situation, Jake and Lexa rejoin the party. Alison appears all of the sudden, calling the music off and dragging Jake towards the crowd. Lexa disappears in it quietly, nodding to Jake that everything's fine, that there's still time left for him to say his goodbyes and to enjoy even a little of his party. The notes of “Happy Birthday” flood the air when he walks with his daughter and Quince towards the tables and the stage where the band is, along with the chorus of voices from all the guests. Jake shakes the hand of the band leader and smiles to everyone. He distinguishes a shadow in the distance, near the stone bridge in the garden.

 

 

It's Lexa.

 

 

With her hands behind her back, in her long black dress and the air messing her hair. It's the first time he looks at her as what she is, as everything she represents. It's the first time he doesn't see her as a young woman but as Death.... looming around, always there. A shadow, bringer of sorrow.

 

 

Jake turns himself to the cheerful crowd. Everyone's clapping. Alison tells him to walk towards the stage where a gigantic six tier cake waits for him to blow the single, lonely candle at the top of it. As soon as he blows it, there's a chorus that chants “speak”, “speak” but he just signals the band to go on. He hates speeches but when on of the staff members places a microphone in front of him, he thinks: Why not? One last speech. Make it count, Jake.

 

 

"I thought I was gonna sneak tonight, get away with it," he begins and earns a few chuckles here and there. He looks at the sky, clear and with just a few stars on it. "What a glorious night. Every face I see tonight brings back a memory... it may not be a perfect memory. Sometimes we've had our good and our bad times but I'll say that's what true friendship is made of. Tonight we're all together, so we've must be doing something right. But for now, well, I'm going to beak costume and tell you my wish: That you have a live as joyous and lucky as mine, that you could wake up one morning and say: 'I don't want anything more'... 55 years... don't they go by in a blink?"

 

 

More clapping and then, the notes of a song he knows too well. “What a wonderful world”. He shakes the hands and kisses the cheeks of old friends and foes, people he appreciates and people that are there only for the cocktails. But it doesn't matter. He feels happy. He truly has been a very lucky man.

 

 

"Daddy, I love you," Alison greets him, holding him tight, kissing his face repeatedly.

 

 

"Me too, darling," Jake says, kissing her back. "I know I haven't been the best father for you and..."

 

 

"Don't say that," Allison says dismissively, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I've felt loved."

 

 

Jake smiles widely, she hugs Allison again and then he notices Quince behind them. He shakes his hand. "You take care of her, you old rascal."

 

 

"Sure I will, Jake."

 

 

Jake suddenly sees her. Clarke. Standing alone at the end of the crowd, with her arms crossed and a sad smile on her face.

 

 

"I'll go with your sister now," he tells Allison. "Thank you for everything, my dear."

 

 

He shakes hands with more people greeting him on his way to his daughter. He hears a 'Happy Birthday' here and there or 'Thanks for the invitation, Jake'. He smiles distractedly. There's a lot of people there. He feels likes he's swimming inside an endless ocean current. Clarke laughs a little when he finally gets to her and he lets out a long breath and says:

 

 

"Your sister's guest list really was long."

 

 

"Don't be silly," Clarke says, nudging his shoulder.

 

 

"Will you dance with you old man?" Jake asks, offering his hand to her.

 

 

"You hate dancing."

 

 

"Not tonight."

 

 

"Oh, dad..."

 

 

Clarke collapses in his arms with tears brimming in her eyes. It's impossible for her to contain them anymore but she tries her best, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. He always smelled like mint and cologne. Long lost the smell of tobacco since he quit smoking a couple of years ago... when her mother died, exactly. So much had changed when she was gone. Something broke in all of them. Clarke remembers how Allison would try to distract herself with anything, and her father closed himself in his job... in his memories and his sadness. And her, well, she just closed herself to everything and everyone. She dropped Med School for a while, she almost abandoned her hopes and dreams. It was hard to go back on track. But she realized how abandoning everything would be like tainting her mother's memory. So she moved on. They all did... but, how to do that now?

 

 

"Hey, darling, what is it?" Jake asks, searching for his daughter's eyes while they start moving along with the music, slowly, almost like they're not actually dancing.

 

 

"You were right about Lexa," Clarke answers, shrugging. "She's... well, she's going somewhere I know I can't follow."

 

 

"I'm sorry."

 

 

"You're relieved, don't lie."

 

 

"A little but... I know you'll be fine."

 

 

"Oh, dad, come on."

 

 

"Listen to me, Clarke," Jake says, all seriousness, with one hand on her waist and the other one wiping a lonely tear in her cheek. "I couldn't have asked for a better pair of daughters. You and Allison gave me a kind of happiness I was not sure I even deserved after your mother died. I love you so much and I want you to promise me something: I don't want you to worry about me, ever. I'll be okay from now on, I have no regrets about anything and... everything's gonna be alright, you'll see."

 

 

"Please don't talk like that..."

 

 

"Promise me, Clarke, that you'll do the same: no regrets, no worries."

 

 

Clarke holds him, letting out a strangled sob, it's a sound she doesn't recognize as hers and then she whispers to his ear: "No regrets, no worries."

 

 

"That's my girl," Jake smiles softly.

 

 

"Everybody's saying goodbye..." Clarke mutters after a little moment of shared silence.

 

 

"I'm still here, darling, and I'm happy, dancing with the most beautiful woman in this party... don't tell Allison."

 

 

******

 

Lexa watches from afar, standing in the middle of the garden, near the house. Alone. She watches the party unfolding right in front of her eyes. She watches the people enjoying their food and drinks on the tables. Other people are dancing and laughing on the dance floor. The musicians play their instruments. The staff runs from one place to another, expertly attending the needs of the party. Allison's smiling from ear to ear with her arm around Quince's, chatting with other guests. Raven's in the middle of a group of people who listen to her attentively, while she explains something, gesturing too much with her hands and her eyes full of knowledge... And Clarke and Jake. She has her head on her father's shoulder, they are dancing, they say their goodbyes.

 

 

She feels a tug of pain inside her. Seeing Clarke like that, tearful in her father's arms. Knowing very well she's the cause of those tears, of all those bittersweet feelings.

 

 

And in that moment she feels too much as well. She wants to hold on to all those things, feelings, around her, inside her, just for a little while. The cold air caressing her skin and ruffling her hair. The smells, all different, a mixture of food and the remains of rain from the night before. The sounds of music and laughter, chatter and shouting... and the silences in between. The party scene. And the memories: the taste of peanut butter, the city, walking besides Jake in a rush hour on their way to the office, Allison and Quince's kindness, the attentiveness of Jake's house staff, Indra and her words which made her realize this was not her place... and Clarke.

 

 

Clarke.

 

 

The intensity of her blue eyes, the touch of her lips when she first kissed her in the library, the softness of her skin, the way her fingers ran through her hair and how she gave her the gift of her arousal that sunny afternoon... it seems like so long ago. How could she forget the look in Clarke's eyes when she came?, when they lay tangled together between the sheets afterwards? How could she forget the way Clarke collected little drops of sweat in the dip between her collarbone. They made love again then... and, after a few more kisses, Clarke whispered softly in her ear that she loved her. Lexa heard it even when she pretended to be asleep. She heard that lonely and quiet confession in the middle of the night, before Clarke had to leave to the hospital.

 

 

_I love you, Lexa..._

 

 

But who does Clarke loves?... A memory?, or what Lexa truly is?

 

 

Lexa turns her back to the party and walks towards the closest stone bench. She sits down with her head down, feeling grieved... Could Death be selfish? Could Death pretend to be something more, something she's not?, to aim higher? Could Death dare to love? She did and for a little while it was the most precious dream.

 

 

The music suddenly stops and the dark, starless sky covers with fireworks. Human made stars. So fleeting. She looks up, her green eyes shinning thanks to the lights in the sky and then, she feels something... could they possibly be? A couple of silent, little tears falling slowly from her eyes. She wipes them with the tip of her thumbs, they dry in her hand. She never thought crying could be so easy, so freeing. When she closes her eyes for a while, she feels more of them gathering there, falling still, and when she opens them, Jake is walking towards her with his hands inside his pockets and a crooked, content smile.

 

 

He's ready.

 

 

"Happy Birthday, Jake," she greets him.

 

 

"Thank you," he says, looking behind his shoulder. "Did you say goodbye?"

 

 

"Not exactly."

 

 

"I see..."

 

 

"You don't have to worry about it, Jake."

 

 

"Look, Lexa... I would like to thank you for what you did for Clarke." Jake stands next to her and studies her profile, he sees the trace of tears in her cheek and the way the fireworks twinkle in them. "I never heard her speak of anyone the way she spoke about you. In a way, that's what I always wanted for her."

 

 

"Clarke deserves it," Lexa says, heavily. "She's a remarkable woman."

 

 

"I know... but what will happen to her now?" Jake wonders.

 

 

"Don't worry about her, Jake." Lexa assures him. Clarke will be fine. "Would you mind if I express my gratitude?, for you, for your hospitality, for the patience you showed me, for the opportunity you gave me. I know I left you with no choice but, well... I'm really thankful for your time."

 

 

"You'll ruin my autopsy, shut up." They chuckle together, Jake shakes his head and looks at her again. Those bright green eyes always intrigued him. He wonders if the intensity they hold is because of who she is, deep inside. All that mystery, all the fear she represents for so many people... all that unfathomable power. There, in a pair of sad, big green eyes. "It's hard to let go, isn't it?"

 

 

"Yes, it is, Jake... It's hard to love something that hates you."

 

 

"Life?" Lexa nods. "Well, what can I tell you?"

 

 

"Shall we?"

 

 

Together, arm to arm, they walk towards the darkness of the garden, to the small stone bridge that connects the garden to the house. Fireworks still illuminating the sky, the moon set above it. The party still going on back there. So many people unaware.

 

 

"Will I see her again?" Jake asks. He stops, a little bit unsure, looking beyond the bridge with a sudden fear inside of him. Lexa only smiles warmly. "Should I be afraid?"

 

 

"Not you, Jake."

 

 

******

 

The sky turns purple and red, white and blue. The air starts to smell like powder. The guests are clapping. Clarke hears Allison and Raver calling her, telling her to join them, gesturing with their hands. Clarke ignores them. She's too distracted by the couple of shadows walking in the garden. She runs, trying to catch them. Her father and Lexa. Maybe if she runs, if she calls for them, she could stop them. Stop everything. Turn back time or maybe just stop it altogether.

 

 

But they disappear into the darkness. She sees them crossing the barely illuminated bridge and she knows they are gone, perhaps forever. Gasping, holding the rim of her dress in her hand and hating her high heels, she stares at the bridge absently. And just when she's about to turn around, she distinguishes the familiar outline of a black night dress... and its owner walking in her direction. That long mane of brown hair waving with the wind and those green eyes fixed in her.

 

 

It couldn't be...

 

 

"You're here," Clarke says when they are face to face. She couldn't think of anything else to say.

 

 

"I am," Lexa says, looking around curiously.

 

 

"Where did you go?"

 

 

"Nowhere, I'm here... I've always been here, haven't I?"

 

 

And then their eyes met... and somehow, in a very strange way, they look the same. It's the same green, they have the same depth, the same love and tenderness Clarke always saw in them.

 

 

"Lexa..."

 

 

"You look so beautiful."

 

 

"But... you said goodbye, I-I... my father, he..."

 

 

"I said a lot of things, didn't I?" Lexa steps closer, she takes Clarke's hands in her own. "And, apparently your father made us both make promises. I intend to keep mine, Clarke."

 

 

"I-I... honestly, I don't understand, everything feels like a dream."

 

 

"I made a choice, just this once and for a little while... I'll belong to a place completely unknown to me, besides, I told you I would always be with you."

 

 

"But what do we do now?, how do we make it work?"

 

 

Lexa's smile is wide and earnest. It's like, from now on, everything is possible. "It'll come to us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it.
> 
> I'm very sorry for the long delay but life got in the way... and not in the best way. Small story time: I returned to school, to get a masters degree. In the end I ended up screwing myself thanks to my poor life choices: I thought it would be a great idea to start a relationship with one of my classmates. Spoiler alert: It's not. She turned out to be a monumental bitch and everything ended very, very badly. I spent the last year being miserable and depressed, hooray for me. So, naturally, the last thing I wanted to do was write, anything, this fic, my original work, my own thesis. But well, I guess once you start something, it's better to finish it.
> 
> Since I can't get happy endings in real life, I guess it's good to get happy endings in fiction. So, yeah, for those who have seen the film, I changed the ending and made it more corny and ridiculous but I think a little less stupid and sad. Let me know how you interpret it, I don't know, maybe it's still tricky and stupid.
> 
> Many of you surely think that this fic was particularly lazy, since I just took a story that was already there and just changed the names and the dialogue quite a bit... well, yeah, I did that but I also wanted to give a little more depth to some parts of the story that always intrigued me (and come on, I changed that awkward sex scene and made it less annoying and uncomfortable). It's not like I'm winning a Nobel Prize for this.
> 
> Thanks again to all of you who read all this nonsense. 
> 
> See you around, people.


End file.
